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My 7 year old is acting so mean---help

My (ADHD) son is 7 years old and is really having spells of just plain meanness. He has a good heart and is a really sweet boy, but lately, he's been so rude to other kids and adults. He doesn't have a lot of friends b/c he's so hyper and now, he's saying hateful things to the friends he has. I've talked to him, punished him, reminded him of all his good qualities, tried to build him up so he feels good about himself, and had the school counselor talk to him. Nothing seems to get through. He says he wants more friends and is really sad that more people won't play with him, but when I tell him he has to be a friend to have friends, it just doesn't sink in. Ideas? Is this just a 7 year old (almost 8 year old) phase?

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Asked by susystudio at 5:27 PM on Feb. 3, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 3 (15 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Try and explain to him John 3: 13. I hope that helps. My brother is adhd but, he's 40 now. They do out grow it eventually.

    Answer by pswiley at 5:40 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I would make sure he is getting enough exercise to burn off that negative energy. My 4 yr old gets kinda cagey - especially in the winter - if he doesn't burn off some of that hyperactivity.

    Answer by karamille at 6:00 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • My son has ADHD and has gone thru many pahses. I hate to say it but 5-7 were the worst years of our lives. The school called me eveyday he always was up to somthing no matter what I did I took things away, I didnt let him watch tv, I tried every parenting theory I could. I went to parenting classes though a program for ADHD we were n and finally I did somthing I never ever thought I would. I allowed them to put him on meds. We started out slow over the summer by the time we got to 2nd grade he was a whole new kid. The whole problem is, and still can be is they are so easily frustrated. He could explain it to me later but he needed hlp at the time and I cant follow him around his whole life. He plays hockey and was ready to high stick a kid over the head on purpose! Any one that irritated him it was awful, I was sorry for him but could nt show it, I was embarressed about the loks I got and everything else.

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 6:06 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • Sorry ran out of space. You can only help them so much. Also the parentingg vlass I went to really pushed time out even ate the older ages so I did it he hated it but it helped you are supposed to do it in public places too just to grab control of them. My son just turned 11 he is still on meds we have moments-mostly the non stop talking that never ends! I know where you are comming from, my son has improved but he still has learning disabilities which dont help. If your son s not on meds talk to me I can help you since my son is ahead of yours its smething that people cant understansd if they arent in the situation.. You may help me too because i have no friends with ADHD kids.
    Message me soon! Lisa

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 6:14 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • My best friend's son was adhd, and she found that by giving him peanut butter toast for breakfast before school it really calmed him down, and made his day go a whole lot easier for him and his teachers. Just saying, if you want to try something before the drugs! Maybe it will help him so that he won't need drugs.

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 6:59 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • He's on meds. We eat lots of protein. He spends time running around. We read bible verses. He still gets lots of time outs.
    I wonder if ADHD is the issue or if 7-8 year olds just go through a big meanie phase. He's doing really well in school (grade and attention-wise) now that he's medicated. In fact, 2nd grade was starting out to be the best year ever. He was making friends and acting a lot less hyper with everyone---in the last month or so, he's started being so rude to everyone---and is losing the friends he's managed to make. Is this a phase or is he turning into a mean kid? What do you do then your kids (adhd or not) are mean to others?

    Comment by susystudio (original poster) at 9:52 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I would see if I could find a socialization class for him, most counselors and psychologists for children offer this service. He would be put in a group with a few peers and they work on teaching good listening skills, appropriate responses to converstation, etc. It might be really helpful for him. Also, I would have him evaluated again, often ADHD has another component to it, such as ODD or depression. I think he is probably just frustrated and not sure how to get the attention of his peers, so he has gone down the wrong path. But I would look into it sooner than later, he sounds very unhappy and that can change. *hugs* The hardest thing to see as a parent is social rejection, I understand your frustration.

    Answer by spottedpony at 11:12 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Also age 7-8 is often classified as a loving stage. 9-10 is when they become more aggressive. And before the age of 9-10 is the best chances you have for making an impression and getting him "on track." I would have him re-evaluated.

    Answer by spottedpony at 11:13 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Great idea. I'll look into a socialization class!!

    Comment by susystudio (original poster) at 12:37 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

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