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My toddler is starting to get violent...

He throws things and is starting to hit when he is mad. I give him time out, tell him it's wrong and not to hurt people, but it's starting to get worse. My husband and I don't throw things or hit him or each other. Is there something else I'm doing wrong?


Asked by sunshine58103 at 9:05 PM on Feb. 3, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (11)
  • It's natural for children to resort to violence when they're mad. Normally it is just a stage that they grow out of. They are testing out their abilities, their bounderies, and what sets you and your husband off. It's important to not show that it doesn't get to you in the sense of him finding your weakness. Keep it at a punishable offense and give him the proper punishment. Don't stray from the punishments you have been giving them. It's normal for the violence to escelate some as they try to make it work as a way to break you. However, if it does escelate too far then you might want to try a more severe punishment. Whether it's having him sit alone in his room for 20 minutes, taking away toys/privliages, etc.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:38 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • It sounds like frustration. He wants to express himself but doesn't know how. Keep an eye on him...are there certain things that you /he are doing when he acts out? Is it a certain time of day?

    if you can recognize the signs of him getting frustrated, you may be able to disarm the situation before it gets to that point.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:09 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I would put him in his crib or a playpen for time out so he can't hurt himself or others. How are his language skills? Is he meeting his milestones?

    Answer by karamille at 9:14 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • Yes he break his milestones ahead of time and it very very verble. He's almost 28 months. It is usually went his is tired and I tell him he can't have something he wants. I do the time out in his crib (which he can crawl out of now and are awaiting a toddle bed right now). I explain to him afterward that he hurt me or his dad and ask him to apologize, which he does. Or I explain to him we do not throw things- also after time out.

    Comment by sunshine58103 (original poster) at 9:21 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • Bust his butt! Demand manners! NEVER let him see you sweat! All discipline should be surrounded by love...NEVER forget who is the adult. Your dream is to be friends with your kids; but there sometimes ya gotta love them enuff to let them hate you. If you cannot control them at young ages, kiss their teens goodbye. Have a horrible time making so many joyful memories THERE IS NOTHING SO FINE as parenthood. But ya gotta be the ones in control. Good luck, and god bless... :)

    Answer by BeckyBanagis at 9:23 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • *breaks *verbal *when he *toddler

    can you tell I'm tired?

    Comment by sunshine58103 (original poster) at 9:24 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • Becky - Yes, I agree. Now do you have any specific tips for me?

    Comment by sunshine58103 (original poster) at 9:25 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • You need to nip it in the butt right now. Let him know that type of behavior will NOT be accepted, period.
    Time outs. Take things away. Spank (if that's what you are ok doing). Either way. Consistancy is key. He needs to know that he CANNOT do things like that, at all. You may have to be more firm and strict than you like to be, but this is something that can easily escalate and become a HUGE problem.
    Good luck.

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 9:45 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • No you are not doing anything wrong. My daughter is 4 and is going through the same thing. I asked my doctor about it and he said that she will work herself through it and all kids her age go through it. So just give it time and good luck. If you find anything that helps let me know so I can try it too.

    Answer by jessiluvsandy at 9:45 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • He may be pent up. Kids often get stressed in the winter months because it's too cold for them to go outside and run around. They end up with a huge back stock of energy. We're having the same issue with our son. We play with him constantly to try and wear him out and it seems to be working. You can also try diverting his attention with art projects. Or try making sugar cookies and let him help cut out the shapes. Children crave structure and stimulation. Try watching a children's video or nick jr where they're learning as they watch, or sit him in your lap and read him a book.

    Answer by MamaStuart at 9:47 PM on Feb. 3, 2011