Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What should I do?

I know you all don't know me that well, since I am still fairly new.
I am Sammy, I'm 19 and 31 weeks pregnant with twins.

My boyfriend (or ex now) left me when he found out I was pregnant. I was heartbroken and scared. I have not heard anything from him. His family (including him) did not come to my baby shower despite the invitation I sent him.
Today, he texted me asking if we could "talk" over lunch soon. I have not answered him back, I don't know what I should do, or what he even intends on "talking" about during lunch...
any suggestions?

Answer Question

Asked by Sammy4411 at 10:01 PM on Feb. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Level 7 (202 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • What do you want to do? Would you like him to be in the picture?
    Congrats on the twins! Very exciting!

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:03 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • well i think u should have lunch w/ him maybe he wants to talk about whatss going to happen, like visitation ,child support, ect. yes u should get child support if he wants to be a part of their life or not cuz u didnt get pregnant by urself its his responsibilty. But if for someone reason ur scared or uncomfortable maybe ask a freind or ur mom to go to lunch with u . GL

    Answer by Cherriemama831 at 10:04 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • My DH left when I first was pregnant. he came back after he got over being scared (this was before we were married and I was 18). He did come back and has been a wonderful dad for the past 8 years. Go and chat with him, he may have grown up some.

    Answer by ashisamom at 10:19 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • See what he has to say. Let him talk and keep your cards hidden until you figure out how you feel about what he says. He can only help OR hurt you if YOU let him. Good luck're gonna have your hands full soon with those babies! :)

    Answer by michelle121003 at 10:23 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • Well i would say go have lunch and just see what he wants. Listen to your gut and see what happens! Good luck! And I had twins too! Twin girls that are now going on 5! Time flies enjoy your time being pregnant and when they're babies! If you ever need to chat feel free to pm me :)

    Answer by Bird16_J at 10:55 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • men sometimes act like idiots when they find out they are going to be dads, it is a lot of stress of thinking about the future
    maybe he will pull himself together
    but maybe he will not
    better to find out how his head is
    let him do most of the talking, donot make excuses for him, do not paint the picture prettier than it is, let him talk, ask questions you need answers to and watch how he answers them
    do this in a public place

    now, if he still has his head up his ass...yes i did say that...if he is still acting like an ass, then you can do this on your own, better to have him not in picture now, then to have him leave just as you are ready to give birth, just after or a year or so down the line

    my ex boyfriend, stayed in the picture just long enough for it to be hard for our child when he decided he wanted noting to do with her, i wish he would have decided this at start of pregnancy and not after our child attached

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • it's sad but men are not ready to be daddies at such a young age!!! So get ready to depend on God and YOUR family!!! I pray that your situation will be different. It is not impossible, we all need hope!! And you will have two beautiful babies to keep you busy and blessed so if he misses out on that... that's a loss for him!!! You are a blessed young mother carrying 2 miracles so enjoy the challenge of mommyhood and sweetie dont forget God will not give you more than you can bare!!! Breathe..... and PRAY it works!!!

    Answer by wannabgypsy at 11:21 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • Congratulations on the twins. Before I would meet him somewhere to talk, I would have to find out why, just to see if he is really wanting to talk about something important. Find out before you go that way you will be more prepared. You're pregnant with twins, the last thing you need is to get all emotional.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:01 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I think you should come up with your own plan, but hear him out. I would go to the lunch and see what he has to say. If at all possible take someone with you who is a good listener and a support, if you have that type of relationship with your mom, take her with you.

    Just don't get any hopes up, he may want to talk just to get other words, prepare yourself for the worst case type of news. Try to be really neutral and make a promise to yourself that you won't make any decisions or promise him anything until you have 48 hours to sleep on it. That way you won't jump into anything or make an emotional decision.

    What are your parents advising you to do? Do they know? I would recommend that you turn to your own family for answers as well as support, if possible.

    Good luck, you don't have an easy road ahead, but many women have traveled that road! You aren't alone! Congratulations on 2 babies!

    Answer by spottedpony at 2:09 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.