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2 Bumps

No respect, no repect at all.

recently me and my SO have had to move in with his mother. Its been almost 7 months and we cant affored to move out. no one will hire him and everyone wants me to focus on school for the future.
Here is the major issue, Every time I put my foot down as a parent I am underminded by MIL when I turn to SO in pirivet he just doesnt understand why Im so upset. EX. We didnt want our little girl (one year) to have candy at least not before bedtime. MIL goes out with SO and buys a SUCKER when I say "I dont think thats a good idea can we wait till tomarrow?" MIL says "oh shut up, Rebecca" SO adds " yeah its not like vodka or anything." I pull him aside and remind him of what we agreed upon and he just shrugged.
I dont know what to do!! I clean everyday and no one says "good job" or "thank you" if anything MIL just makes a bigger mess. I want to just go away for afew days... has anyone had this happen? PLEASE tell me what did you do? I dont want to leave him but im about to have a nervous breakdown or smack a B****.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:34 PM on Feb. 3, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • I don't know how you hold your temper on something like that. Have you ever thought about taking the candy before it's handed to your daughter and say I said not tonight sweetheart, but you can have it tomorrow. If you let them continue to walk over you they will. Your SO should be supportive and back you up and it sounds like you should be looking for another place to stay even if it's with your family. Have you thought about going to public housing or even taking your daughter and staying with a friend? He should never allow his mother to disrespect you or your values. Good Luck, I don't know how you do it.
    kitchenwitch78

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 11:42 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • You need to let the two of them no that your position on saying no to a sucker is not to just start a fight with them, your reasoning goes much farther - your child's health and well- being! At such a young age a sucker isn't a great idea considering her little teeth are growing in and such! Let them no in no uncertain terms can they undermine what the rules are that you have set out, you may want to check and see what they believe are good rules and see if you can compromise on some things considering you all have to try to live happily together for the meantime! Hope this helps a little...
    JusaLady

    Answer by JusaLady at 11:42 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • Yes, good responses above.
    Sit his butt down and talk to him. You cannot be trapped with that MIL if she's going to treat you so badly. Maybe it just isn't worth it. Is there anywhere else you can stay?
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:47 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • stop cleaning and its ur child u need to remind her that ur the mom not her
    ashant2330

    Answer by ashant2330 at 12:03 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • oh hell no! That would'nt fly with me period .I'd be figuring out a way to be moving out of there and tell mil to kiss my butt .Where there is a will there is a way and i'd tell hubby we are getting our own place even if it means moving to different state. Thats what hubby and i did and we never regretted it that way you raise your kids and live your life the way you want and nobody around to interfere.My sis stayed where the family was and her kids grew up disrepecting her because the kids learned from certain family members it was ok to tell mom to shut up and things of the like while her husband said nothing cause he did'nt want to cross his mama.
    elle71186

    Answer by elle71186 at 12:15 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I think you need to have a serious "talk" with your SO. If this was something you both agreed upon then he should help you enforce it and not be hypocritical about the situation because his mother doesn't agree with your parenting ways. I understand that it's his mom.. but when it comes to your children and something you Both decided upon..he should have your back every step of the way.
    NewMommaNtown

    Answer by NewMommaNtown at 12:26 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I know what it's like living with your in-law's, I've been there. We did it for 6 years. Now my son thinks that his Grandfather can overrule what we say. Don't stay with her any longer than you have to. One of you needs to remind her who your child's parents are.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:39 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • i've been there.. gratefully i dont live there and now my SO lives with me... we live w/ my parents until i graduate (this semester unoffically)
    MoMoFu

    Answer by MoMoFu at 9:50 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

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