I have been with my husband for 7 years... the first 3 years were WONDERFUL ... we had a perfect life together.
I have 2 younger children with my first husband, and I waited until they went to school and then I became a beautician - my dream career... To me it was life changing because I went from a not so great relationship ( we are good friends now though ) and we were constantly struggling for money -- I really just didnt have a life before.... and i always looked towards the future thinking things would be better... My schedule is great because I dont have to go towork until after I drop my kids off at school, and I get off right before I pick them up and I make VERY good money - We COULD be living comfortably.
Anyways... My husband has a daughter from his previous marriage when we got married she was 14 and we got along great, I love her and i really seen her as my daughter ( not a step daughter) .... she lived with us most of the time because her mother lives far away and she went to school here. But then she went to her moms for a whole summer and when she came back she was different.... she started doing drugs, drinking, partying and most of all she came back PREGNANT .
Now I had always planned that if one of my kids got pregnant, i would be there and help them in any way I could ( i afterall was a teen mom too ) ... When we first found out we had a talk and we told her we will help her in every way, we were going to convert our master bedroom to a living space for her and the baby, and I was going to take time off work to take care of the baby so she could finish work.... but , 2 weeks after she had the baby she was gone .... leaving days at a time and then weeks at a time.
So my husband and I got custody of the baby.... a year later we also got custody of her second baby ... 10 months after that - 3rd baby..... and now of course she believes she is pregnant again.
With the first baby, I had no problems taking care of it, honestly I loved taking care of a baby...
I love all of them but it is just getting so hard. My husband and I fight all the time, we are so stressed and so in need of money ... I am basically taking care of all 5 kids by myself ( he works as long as he can and then comes home and works in the garage) ... He continues to give his daughter money and says nothing to her when she only sees the kids MAYBE once a month.
But the kicker came the other day ... she finally came to visit ( for about 20 mintues) and she brought her new boyfriend... hey were just sitting her talking about their income taxes, and she was talking bout how much money she is getting ( over $5000) and so I told her " Well since you are getting so much it would be nice if you could buy your children a few things" ... and she actually said " no! if you want to be raising them, you can be payin' for them" ..... so of course I told her ( in so many words) that she is not aloud back in this house and she needs to keep her legs closed because we cant afford anymore of her selfishness . .....my husband took up for her !!!
I feel so guilty but I just cant help but think that I am being selfish to my own kids... I planned this life for them, we could be living in a nice house where they dont have to share rooms and have to have second-hand everything -- I worked to hard to live like this and I am tired of living with a man who expects me to work all day and still raise 5 kids ( maybe soon to be 6 ) without any help and even though I have had the last 3 of them since they were only weeks old, they cant even call me mommy, ( I am not even 35, but he wants them to call me mamaw... but I think that is too confusing since I have my young kids calling me mom, and then the babies calling me mamaw) ... He also tells me that they will go back to her ..
But then of course I feel even more stuck because what can we do with the babies, he cant take care of them and she wont and I dont want them going to god knows who .. I just dont know what to do !!
Also my keybarod is sticing and I am very upset and tired so excuse the bad typing
Asked by Anonymous at 12:46 AM on Feb. 4, 2011 in Parenting Debate
Answer by mistynights234 at 12:57 AM on Feb. 4, 2011
I would agree to NOT take any more of her responsibility for her. Um, yeah, wouldn't be letting my hub give her any more money either. You have custody of the children, you claim them on your taxes. I commend you for having the strength to raise her children. I know it's hard but maybe it would be a lot easier if you husband would quit enabling her and for you guys to just cut ties period.
Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 1:02 AM on Feb. 4, 2011
Answer by MissLacey at 1:05 AM on Feb. 4, 2011
Answer by Candie2008 at 1:42 AM on Feb. 4, 2011
Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 1:43 AM on Feb. 4, 2011
Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 1:46 AM on Feb. 4, 2011
Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 1:56 AM on Feb. 4, 2011
Answer by Momchipomkids at 2:39 AM on Feb. 4, 2011
Answer by mama2bof2 at 10:56 AM on Feb. 4, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Feb. 4, 2011