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2 Bumps

does your man's past (sexual relationships) bother you? adult content

So its a long useless explanation, but it just came out that my SO once brought a stripper home- back in the day of course. I know that he used to be a real freak, and has slept with mannnny women in the past, and for some reason it sometimes bothers me. I suppose I compare myself to them (usually taller/skinnier than me)..or it bothers me bc our sex life is rather infrequent, due to his lack of a sex drive. Even he has said he did it so much in his 20's he simply doesn't want it as much now...what sucks is I do! Anyway am I wrong to be bothered? Or how do I get over it? Thx!


Asked by lexi8622 at 1:17 AM on Feb. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,640 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Ya I understand. I felt the same way at first cuz I made the mistake of asking him the NUMBER! Never do that! I should have known better. My dh is ten years older than me, and wasn't raised like I was as far as really treating sex as it is sacred. MHO only.
    So it bothered me for a long time, and then I just had to realize it doesn't matter! I am the best out of all of them, he makes me feel secure that way. He PICKED ME to spend the rest of his life with! Now I don't ever think about it and when I do (like now only b/c this question was asked) I don't even care. I love him, he loves me. That's all that matters.
    I do know what you mean about his lower sex drive though, and that can be a problem. Get help for it, or just give it time. But just don't give up. You can make it through this.

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 12:29 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Nope. It's my Husband's past and He is with me now. Try to think of it that way. =]

    Answer by -AJ at 1:24 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • it sucks that youre not satisfied..especially if he USED to be a freak! i'd feel like..why did all these other women get that from him, & now u get shafted because he's 'over it'? ive never met men who feel theyve got enough of thats a first! & a mans past can be bothersome if u are disgusted by it. understandably people change- & if u love him enough to look past it & are capable of dealing with what type of sex drive he has now, then i guess its a matter of just settling for what u have. but if u feel you shouldnt have to 'settle', then maybe you should think about moving on & finding what you want to be happy. good luck, ..i say this all the time--everyone deserves to be happy. if theres nothing holding u to him, u only live once & theres someone out there for everyone. i think no one should just settle if they arent happy & someones not willing to change

    Answer by hellokitty1978 at 1:25 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • It would probably bother me some, but he married you ,and as long as you trust him all should be good! Just try not to think about his past.

    Answer by justalady774 at 1:26 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • My dh was also quite the ladies man, to put it nicely. He has had sex with many, many women including strippers. It has never bothered me. I know he loves me and the sex we have. The only time it bothered me is when he told me the name I loved for a possible future child was also the name of one of the strippers. I made some remark about him being a whore and marked the name off my list. :)

    Can you really over sex yourself? I'm thinking it's an excuse. Is he stressed out? You didn't say how old he is but could he be getting older and have problems functioning?

    He married you for a reason. Remind yourself of your awesomeness when you start to doubt yourself. Talk to him.

    Answer by dmdblleb at 1:30 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • ok our relationship gets a little complicated. i was living in Y-town with my grandparents and my family lived in W-town, well I went to W to visit and met a guy we dated or whatever for a week then I had to go back to my Gparents house and we broke up or whatever, and I had plans to go back to W for the summer and we would get back together (we were 15) well in between the 2 months when we were broken up or whatever you can call it, he slept with another girl, I found out 2 months into our new relationship. It just really bothered me. Technically we werent together, but he knew we were getting back together. We stayed together for 3 yrs of highschool , got married at 19, and are about to celebrate 10 years together and it still bothers me
    You really just have to let these things go. I have tried to get over it and theres years where I go without thinking about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Nope, I couldn't care less

    Answer by MrsAJLaw at 1:53 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • are u guys even married? i dont even see where it says u are? it just says SO (significant other..which dosent necessarily mean u are married)

    Answer by hellokitty1978 at 1:55 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Yes it would irk me as well. The cool thing is you know it and just shared it with us, too cool. You already are dealing with feeling not tall enough or skinny enough..ect. It takes a special kinda woman to except this is normal. It is normal. We all often feel not enough it is human.

    Answer by rosetoes at 1:58 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Just think, he was with them for the sex, but he's with you because he loves you, and thats not what he see's in your relationship, it's you he wants.

    Answer by Jessica1991 at 2:32 AM on Feb. 4, 2011