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what do you think?

briefly. my daughter just turned 18. for the past year her boyfriend has basically been living with us. eating our food using our electric and gas watching our tv etc. he does not have a job and is not lookin my daughter has a parttime job. heres the deal my husband wants to start paying them rent. three hundred a month. i think it is a good idea but it just makes me feel bad that i have to go that route what do you think

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:36 AM on Feb. 4, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Sorry, but your house, your rules. You did not ask him to stay, so start charging him rent. Give a written deadline with expectations, a job, a certain amount in rent, and other household expenses, or he must move. And let your daughter know that she is welcome to stay as long as she is working and also contributing to household expenses or in school, BUT that you cannot allow an adult freeloader to continue to stay.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 11:08 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Why is bf in the house living there? Why doesn't he have a job? I wouldn't have allowed that from the start.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 6:51 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • First off why would let him move in the first place? Is it because you feel sorry for him and no one else will take him in? Could be there's a reason why. I would talk to him and tell him, he has this long to get a job. any job and he has to pay so much in rent. If he doesn't then he's out. Then your Daughter will probably get all up in arms and get mad. Threaten to move out. That she can take care of them both they'll be fine they don't need you. Just calmly look at her and say if that's what you feel you need to do then do it. Know that for you we will be here if you need us. We care about you and love you.
    oldermomof5

    Answer by oldermomof5 at 6:52 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • oh and she just turned 19 and he is 21
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:37 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I think you need to sit and talk with your DD without her boy friend. my DH and I lived with my parents for about 11 months after we got married, we also had a 1 year old child. My DH and I both worked, although my parents did not charge us rent. We helped around the house and bought groceries.

    If you really want to start charging them I would talk to DD first and let her know how you feel about her and her BF living there. Maybe she doesn't realize that you are bothered by this and feel that they are taking advantage of a situation. See what she says and try not to yell. Maybe she can talk to her BF about getting a job and helping around the house. In the end i think maybe they do need to be taught that not everything in life is free and they need to start helping out.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 6:41 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • well he wasnt suppose to be living here. long story short it just happened. and oh trust me hubby and i have both talked to them and yelled and threatened and they think for some reason we are jokin. i have jumped on him many times about a job nothing works. short of kickin them both out which we should do i am at a loss. sweetloveofmine i am a tough mother despite how it may sound but this situation is not workin out and when something is said hubbby and i are terrible people and they just ignore us.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:56 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I really feel for you. Sounds like you know what you have to do. Kick them both out. They're not respecting you. Give them a month in writing, with a copy for yourself. Then when the times comes call the police and have at least him escorted off your property. Trust me she'll follow. Don't have them pay rent. then you're in a landlord tenant contract. Much harder to get out of.
    oldermomof5

    Answer by oldermomof5 at 7:10 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • oh trust me they r not smart enough to bind me to a contract plus they r both afraid of me lol
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:11 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I agree somewhat with oldermom. But I would let my daughter stay if she started paying rent. You don't owe the boyfriend a thing. Give them the deadline in writing...........copies for everyone. And then follow through with the police. Pack his things up and have them ready to go with him. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:25 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Well like a pp said your house your rules. If they don't abide by your rules then give them written notice of 30 days to either get the fuck out or abide by the rules set in your house. Personally I say just kick them both out because at that age he's not gonna get a job. I'm sorry you have to deal with this crap but your best bet would probably be to just kick them out and let them fall on their faces and see how long they can pretend to be "adults" like they do with living with you. Good luck I hope it all works out for you.
    Bird16_J

    Answer by Bird16_J at 11:32 AM on Feb. 4, 2011