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2 Bumps

My husband might be a bully?

Just getting some thoughts down and see what you all think. My husband is often good but often bad at the same time. No big deal, everyone goes through that. We can't all be happy all the time right? Well, there is a difference. When he is bad he is really bad. He is disrespectful to me and ignores me. If he can't get his way or I don't agree to something he has asked my opinion on then he throws a complete tantrum and no I am not over dramatizing that! He can snap at me, spend all kinds of money and so forth but heaven forbid I stand up to him and hold my ground then I am "Talking to him like a child" well...if the shoe fits right? He doesn't even want me to work because he doesn't want more taxes taken out or less that we get back. Um..really? Ok it's kind of a vent but do you see my issue here? I am thinking it's time to get out

Answer Question

Asked by JuJubean1979 at 8:32 AM on Feb. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,524 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • He isn't a bully. He is a big, spoiled baby of a man. He needs to grow up.

    Answer by Memigen at 8:40 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Sounds very immature as well; any idea where it's coming from? What's driving the behavior? Unresolved anger issues?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:40 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Bully??? Sounds a little more like mental abuse to me. Anyone who "forbids" anyone to stand up to them is not only a bully, but is a control freak, will more than likely NEVER change, and is mentally abusing. It sounds like a control thing to the point of "you will act as he wants and be controlled and you and your opinions do not count." I would say counseling if it doesnt' work then I would leave......

    Answer by AmI88 at 8:41 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • It's not time to get out, but it's time to draw some boundaries and enforce them. Your husband is just being childish, probably because nobody has ever stood up to him and made him face the fact that he can't have his way all the time. Get yourself a copy of BOUNDARIES IN MARRIAGE by Drs. John Townsend and Henry Cloud, implement the suggestions in there, and help your husband get over himself. That's a part of the "for better or for worse" clause in the marriage ceremony. Don't throw away the years you have invested in him. Fight fire with fire! But first you have to learn how, and I'm betting you are up to the challenge.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:42 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • sounds like he wants to be in control of everything and have everything his way. I would say nip this in the bud if you can.

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 9:39 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • control = abusive
    if he needs to control everything and everyone, this is a person that is using emtional abuse to control his world
    he is not a big baby= he is a grown man using his anger to get his adult way, he does not need to grow up=he needs to control his anger, he is not immature- he is a grown man and he shopuld be guideing his family in a healthy loving way, not forcing his will with threats and angry words

    if i were you i would call an abuse center and talk to a professional who deals with abuse toward women by their partner
    if you do not click with the first one you speak to, call other one - find someone who knows this issue inside and out, it will surprise you how many people livei n this situation, also will be surprised how a professional can name things off that fit into your life, it will sound like they know you..too common in this society

    get strong and make descision if you stay or go

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:48 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Wait, I am confused...this is your father or your husband?

    He is definitely a control freak. I agree, he needs to see a professional because you will never convince him to change his ways on his own. He likes to have his way.

    Answer by spottedpony at 11:00 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I know what I have to do. He is somewhat of a bully. They like control. I actually find it amusing. When you sit back and watch people like these you have to laugh at how rediculous they look and sound

    Comment by JuJubean1979 (original poster) at 11:03 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

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