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4 Bumps

Does it sound like he means it? adult content

My husband and I are e-mailing each other back and forth. For the past 2 years he has treated me like shit. I left him but he begged for one more chance. So I told him we will try one more time once he returns from deployment. I am still very cautious.  This is how the conversation went. He told me I was a very good wife and I said no I wasn't because I have it in my head if I was good he would have never treated me the way he did. Then he sent me this:
I think you are. I think I have just been blinded by that fact and that I
have just been a bad husband to you by making you feel like a bad wife and
treating you the way I had been treating you.

I asked him why does he think he was the way he was for those two years. I received this message:

I think that I was taking you for granted. Thinking you'd be there no matter
what. Taking everything you did for me for granted. I had been blinded by your
efforts to get my attention. I should be treating you like a precious gift to
me, instead I treated you like you were just a convenience in my life. I
should treat you like you are more important to me than anything else in the
world. Because you are, you are my other half and the one I will spend the
rest of my life and I need to treat you as such. I need to give you all the
attention that I can or at least all the attention that you want and show my
love and affection for you every day. I need to show you that you are always
wanted and needed. I need to be as affectionate and loving as you need me to
be and want me to be. I need to make love to you as much as you want and I
need to satisfy every need that you have, mentally, emotionally, spiritually
(any kind at all), physically and sexually.

Does it sound like he means it? I am just tired of getting hurt all the time but it will also hurt my kids if I left their daddy.


Asked by mommy_of_two388 at 11:21 AM on Feb. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Level 43 (154,356 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • It SOUNDS like he means it BUT just be cautious when he gets home. I know how difficult deployments are (been there done that lol) and I say right now while he's still gone let him know you're going to go to counseling to get things right for YOURSELF and when he comes home, if you want, you both can try marriage counseling and see if that won't help and give you both the tools that you need to make this a successful marriage! Good luck momma and I hope everything works out for you guys and he comes home safe and sound to you SOON! Big hugs!

    Answer by Bird16_J at 11:26 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Wow. It really does sound as if he means it.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 11:24 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Let love reign! He deserves another chance so long as he didn't cheat on you or beat you! We all go through periods in our marriage where we don't meet each others needs. Don't be too quick to judge him, soften your heart and put your family first. Do whatever you can to make it work.

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 11:32 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • i'm usually great with the "full of shit" radar when it comes to people (especially guys- my brother beign the reason lol). but without having any past info to work with, it sounds like he means it. idk if he's done something like this in the past and youre right to stay guarded because you're kids are being affected by this as well, but i gotta say it sounds pretty good. like an epiphany moment kind of thing

    Answer by Mrs.L.Mita at 11:26 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I hope he does!

    He does sound like he has put a lot of thought into it! Best of luck!

    Answer by Charis76 at 11:30 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • If he's serious he won't have issues if you suggest marital counseling when he returns. Words are easy to say even if he means them especially while he's deployed and feeling lonely, but old Habits are hard to break. The first few weeks he's home might be great and perfect but eventually he will slip back into his old pattern unless he gets help. Communication is probably the most important factor with any relationship and it sounds like that is where your issue lies. Not just on his part but on yours as well. From what you've shared here though it is clear that he cares about you.

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 1:07 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Sounds good, but the proof will be in his actions. Now that he's said it, he has to back it up with showing you. If he starts doing things he mentions here, I would say he's sincere. If you don't see changes, then maybe he was telling you what you want to hear. I hope that he does what he says he needs to do.

    Answer by rio_burb at 11:43 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • TALK IS CHEAP, actions speak louder. of course it"sounds" like he means it, anybody can think of words to make someone else happy and/or do what they want. not to burst your bubble but you aren't going to know anything via email, it's going to take time and actions. two years of him treating you badly? sounds like there are bigger issues that need to be dealt with- like communication/anger issues maybe? not sure but my true advice would be to be cautious...i see things like this happen all the time with friends- and in the end they're still hurt b/c the guy turned into a smooth talker briefly and it worked, but eventually the man usually goes back to old ways.

    Answer by lexi8622 at 12:24 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Until he shows you he means it- those are just words. They don't cost anything. They sound nice but in an email? He didn't even have to pay postage for it. Until he shows you real effort (which from his words sound like he will) keep your head about you.

    Answer by meandrphoto at 12:27 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Sounds very sweet and like he means it. I hope he sticks to it for your family's sake! He is probably lonely over there though so be cautious when he comes home and hold him to his words! Good luck!

    Answer by CollinsMommy729 at 12:38 PM on Feb. 4, 2011