I'm sixteen years old. I'm about to have a baby with my boyfriend of six months now. I know alot of you will probably think I'm a ho-bag for getting myself knocked up, but believe it or not it was our first time having sex and he didn't exactly know how to put the condom on.
Anyway, obviously it wasn't on correctly or else I wouldn't be sitting here discussing it. I just told my mom last night and she was pissed! She demands that I either have an abortion or give it up for adoption. Either way she will not help me take care of this baby and if I decide to keep it I might as well find another place to live.
So I'm thinking about adoption. Any advice?
Asked by Anonymous at 11:25 AM on Feb. 4, 2011 in Adoption
Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:42 AM on Feb. 4, 2011
I've been where you are and I'm so sorry that your mom is not being understanding about this. I did not have to give my daughter up, thankfully, so I can't offer you advice for that, but I can say that since you are not getting the support you will need from your family you need to take a long, hard look at the your ability (and that of the father if he is involved) to raise the baby. I can not support abortion, but I can support adoption, if you are not able to provide for your child. In any case, there are a lot of hard choices ahead of you. Good luck. If you need someone to talk to, we're here for you.
Answer by scout_mom at 11:42 AM on Feb. 4, 2011
Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:47 AM on Feb. 4, 2011
First OF ALL YOU ARE NOT A HOBAG !!!!!!!!!! We all make choices that are not the best that does not make us horrible people. Many of us will not judge you on here because we have been in your situation. Please do not beat yourself up. I was 16 when I got pregnant with my daughter. I told my parents and told me the same thing. They made go live in New Hampshire with brother until my baby was born and said to me if you keep this baby you can not come and I could not live with my brother either. Her birthfather was not involved either. They only choice I felt I had was to place for her adoption. it is such a hard process and will effect you forever. If you have support at all please consider keeping your baby.Have you told your boyfriends family yet? Maybe they will be more supportive. If you consider adoption please research your options. Giving up my child for adoption was the hrdest thing I have ever done.
Answer by ramajil at 12:19 PM on Feb. 4, 2011
Answer by Bwebb at 12:23 PM on Feb. 4, 2011
Answer by ramajil at 12:27 PM on Feb. 4, 2011
Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 12:29 PM on Feb. 4, 2011
I don't think your mom realizes the impact that this child will have on her life, no matter if it were aborted (which you aren't doing) or adopted and especially kept. This is a grandchild, a reason to celebrate! She's acting on hurt, fear and anger right now and I'd give her a chance to calm down. I echo talking to your BF's parents. You aren't the first 16 y/o to get pregnant, nor will you be the last. Many 16 y/o's or even younger have coped well with parenthood. Starting young isn't the end of the world. If you want to talk to other moms who have placed children for adoption, as blessed said above, this group www.cafemom.com/group/4974 is a great resource. There are pros and cons to adoption. Many things to think about before you can make an informed decision. BTW, have you gotten pre-natal care? Take care of you and that baby. :)
Answer by doodlebopfan at 12:49 PM on Feb. 4, 2011
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