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Report from relationships: broken marriage advice please?!

M husband and I have to young children and we are 22&24, we were married when I was 19 (I'm younger). Were rounding the corner at 5 yrs together and about married. Times have been really difficult, constantly immature fights about who does more, I won't stop if you won't, ect.. I'm honestly feeling one. I'm don't want t be in a broken marriage but I also don't want to har my kids and have them go through the hardship of divorce. I can be mean, I know I'm a fault. However, he tells me I'm an f-ing idiot, dumb b$&@?, ect... Sometimes in front of our girls. I came from a childhood where my mother was treated lik thi andit breaks my heart to be in a relationship I hate so much. I wan to make things work but don't know how. I feel like I'm at th end of my rope. Is every year just going to get worse and worse? Will we mature nd grow together or is there no hope. I'm lost.

I pray about change within me and him, but don't see any change. I trust in god but don't know when I shol just giv up because it's not healthy

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Feb. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • GET OUT NOW. I mean it; It's NOT going to get better. You are repeating your mother's pattern, and your daughter will do PRECISELY THE SAME because you're modeling this as an acceptable relationship. IT IS NOT.

    He's not a man, he's a MOUSE. Get out... tell him you are NOT coming back unless he gets counseling. And get it for yourself as well.

    This IS NOT A MARRIAGE. God would not recognize it as such. Marriages don't work like this. This is nothing more than a civil union... more properly, a very UNcivil one.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:42 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • No marriage is perfect. That's why there is so many divorces. People give up and decide to break up the family. The kids are the ones who suffer. Pray and make the changes you know you have to make with yourself. Hang out with older couples that have been married a long time. They can help guide you and him. Best of Luck.

    JCRestoredme

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 12:47 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I have 3 words for you: counseling, counseling, counseling
    TikiWiki33

    Answer by TikiWiki33 at 12:53 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Lord, I pray that you would bless my sister to know you more. Help her to stand in the midst, pray without ceasing and hear your guideness. Bless her with the Spirit of Truth. Be her light through this darkness. May the Blood of Jesus Christ protect her family. Restoration in the home, unity with her husband and kids. My their devotion be towards eachother. Help bring friends that will encourage and rebuke the enemy's attempt to destroy this marriage. Protect her from thoughts of giving up. Use her to stand firm in doing what is right and help her to forgive the insults. Help her to be changed within. May the power of the Holy Spirit be ever so real in her life. Pour your love over their houshold. In Jesus Name I pray..AMEN!
    JCRestoredme

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 12:58 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Send me a message I want to encourage you.
    JCRestoredme

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 1:06 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Marriage is very important to me and something I would work very hard to save, but the hateful language is something I would never tolerate. The younger the kids are when their parents divorce the easier it is for them. Only you can decide if there is love anywhere in this relationship to start working on.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 1:09 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Go to counseling in the mean time try the Love Dare.  http://www.shenzhoufellowship.org/main2/files/old/SpecialTopics/TheLoveDare.pdf

    oldermomof5

    Answer by oldermomof5 at 1:10 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Try counseling first before you make any decisions. You are both still young and immature in a lot of ways. Plus you have kids on top of that. Thats a lot of stress.
    You need help dealing with your emotions, and the proper way to communicate with each other.
    sahmamax2

    Answer by sahmamax2 at 1:40 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • My thoughts.

    If the biggest issues in your marriage are fighting over who does what, and fighting over "I'm not going to do if you don't... or .. I didn't because you don't".. type crap. That's easily solved. The two of you just need to learn how to stop keeping score and playing one up on the other... And learn how to see that you BOTH contribute something to the relationship, the family and the household. Both of you need to start recognizing, appreciating and acknowledging what the other person brings to the table, not just what "I" do. Instead of working against one another like you are now, the two of you need to work together. Life and marriage are hard enough as it is. Working against one another instead of together makes them both so much harder to handle. Praying alone does not bring change. The two of you must want to change and both actively work to change in order for changes for the better to happen.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:05 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Counseling should come first. I was 18 when I got married and I hate that we didn't try harder to make things work - I'm such a more mature person now (at least in the aspect of relationships, and I'm 24 now). One of my best friends has been with her husband since they were 14 - they had some hard times but they kept at it and they're happily married now but the difference between her marriage and mine was that both her and her husband made it work. My husband was too much of a child, he believed happiness shouldn't be that hard - that if we weren't meant to be together things would have magically been different - and I held onto my anger, I never hesitated to show him how much I resented the shit he said and did. I played into the stupid fights and pushed it even further. There are times I regret it all - especially when my 6 year old gets frustrated having to split the time between us and she was 1 when we split up.
    momof2inCT2007

    Answer by momof2inCT2007 at 12:34 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

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