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4 Bumps

Let him learn on his own...

My 13 year old son has been datin gthis girl on and off for about a year...she has cheated on him with multiple other boys, and when he asked her about making out with others she has at times admitted to it, but generally makes up excuses. My son believes all of her lies and continues to date her. She has given his number to other boys she has dated from other towns, and he at times get threatening phone calls from these other guys he doesn't know because of her. I have told my son that she is messing with him and she does not really love him...I have asked him not to date her...and I have told him that I know about girls like her, telling him stories from when I was in school....However, he seems to never believe me and continue to date her....???

Answer Question

Asked by jenelle79 at 1:19 PM on Feb. 4, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 9 (287 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • Chances are, a thirteen year old does not have the emotional maturity for dating.

    Get him involved in activities, like sports, school clubs, anything.

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:14 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Why are you allowing a 13yo to have a serious girlfriend? He should be involved in sports, school lubs, volunteering, etc.. 13 is way, way too young to be in any type of relationship.

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 2:48 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • You're son is 13? He shouldn't be having any kind of serious relationship, I don't think that 13 yr olds have any idea what a relationship really is. How can she be cheating at 13, they shouldn't be in a relationship, let alone one that serious that it matters? I guess I'm confused because neither of my boys were allowed to date. They went through the girlfriend/boyfriend thing in elementary school but it was never serious. My 12 yr old has a "girlfriend" but its not a big deal, they don't do anything other than hang out at school sometimes. I agree with rkoloms...try getting him involved in other activities so that he can enjoy being a teen without drama, have him focus on his male friends and doing things with them. Sounds like maybe a little redirection will help.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 3:11 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • This is exactly why 13 yr olds should NOT be dating. Get him into sports, music, etc. He has no business dating.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 3:30 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Wait a minute there.......your son is 13 yrs old and doesn't need to be dating anyone. You need to find new activities that occupy his time and not allow this to continue.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 4:34 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I'll just say that I agree with all the moms above me. He should not be dating. At all. Period.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 5:10 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • We all know that your son is too young to date but you've allowed it, therefore, its up to you to help your son build up enough confidence in himself to know that he deserves better in a relationship than what his girlfriend is giving him. At this age, he's barely getting to know what he likes and wants in a relationship. Allowing him to date without the tools necessary to be choosey about the girls he dates now, can possibly lead him (when he's of dating age) to choose women that aren't good for him...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:23 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I don't think he's to young to date, but I do think he's to young for "going steady." At his age (or really until he's ready to look for a life partner) he should be dating around and not limiting himself to just one girl. She apparently isn't limiting herself. Part of dating is learning these lessons and no matter what you think or feel he's going to do what HE wants to on this front. Your best bet is to make sure he knows you are there for him and be there to support him when and if he gets hurt.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 5:29 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Wow, I was not sure what type of responses I would get, but thanks to those of you who did respond. Just curious if the responses come from moms who have 13 and older kids!? I have learned through time and my own maturity that if you harbor a child, are too strict with them, or try to pick their friends/girl-friends, then they will rebel and do things behind your back! Though I do appreciate the above responses, I am not sure I agree with all of them. Thanks ladies!! :-) confused


    Comment by jenelle79 (original poster) at 8:35 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Wow i have a 14 yr old and his girlfriend right now is his books, when did parents starts letting their kids date at such a young age? my son will have a girlfriend after he brings home the high school diploma .

    Answer by soraya14 at 12:14 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

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