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Those with special needs kids...

How has your life and outlook been changed for the better since your special kiddo came into it?

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joy2bamom

Asked by joy2bamom at 10:34 AM on Nov. 16, 2008 in Adoption

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Answers (22)
  • im not a mother of a special needs baby.. but my sisters has a 16 month old with downs... she does everything for her daughter and wouldnt change it for the world. u only get what u can handle.. its great having her around!!! yeah shes a little behind but when they do something u least expect it makes it even more special then it would with a "normal" baby... if u understand what im saying
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • I am the mother of a special needs child. I didn't know anything was wrong with my daugther until 6 weeks after she was born. After finding out, we, (my fiancee and I at the time), both broke down. But, back to the point, having her has made me a much stronger person, I feel. She tries so very hard to do the normal every day things and it's a major accomplishment when she can do the little things, like get dressed by herself, brush her teeth, etc. See on the outside, she is 17, but on the inside (her head), she will never be older than 18-24 months. She is a very, very outgoing girl, so much so that at one time we had to get her re-directed from giving out hugs to complete strangers. She says hi to everyone, and I do mean everyone and it's hard to explain to her that some people just won't say hi, no matter how many times she says it. Has she made me a better person, yes, by leaps and bounds.

    Suz068

    Answer by Suz068 at 11:13 AM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • What do you mean by special needs? Do you mean physical, mental? My daughters were classified as special needs because they were an older sibling group in foster care. I'll be happy to answer if it's about special needs due to abuse and neglect.
    Littlebit722

    Answer by Littlebit722 at 11:17 AM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • physical/ mental / or emotional Littlebit : ) I'd love for you to answer.
    joy2bamom

    Answer by joy2bamom at 11:29 AM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • LOL!!! I didn't even look to see who posted this!! What a hoot!

    Ok, my life has changed for the better because my girls bring me such joy and happiness. It's really true. Ken and I were missing something when we didn't have children. We had fun, but there was a missing piece. That void has been filled. I love to watch my girls laugh. I love to watch them go to bed happy and content. I love it that they enjoy spending time with us and want us to play games with them or just listen. I love making dinner for them, baking for them, taking care of them, getting little surprises for them, writing them cute little notes. My life is now about them. I no longer come first, they do and that's the way it should be. Don't get me wrong. I still take some "me time".
    Littlebit722

    Answer by Littlebit722 at 1:18 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • cont.

    I love to teach them and watch them grow. (Although they are growing way too fast and I wish I could turn back the hands of time). They had such a hard and unfair start in life and I love trying to help them overcome that. Are there frustrations? Yes, but at the end of the day when that face looks at you, those arms reach out for you and they tell you they love you and you see they mean it, it's all worth it!
    Littlebit722

    Answer by Littlebit722 at 1:18 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • I didn't start out as a mother who expected to have a child with special needs. There are days where it is still quite difficult to use the word "special." I often prefer in my own syntax the words different needs. My life has changed. Big time. I quit my job, I take him to therapy twice a week (OT and speech), have a laundry list of other specialists (and sometimes I forget appointments b/c we just see so MANY people), I have learned about a whole new spectrum of disabilities that I was not very familiar with, and the stress and the worry was overwhelming. The added twist was what to tell his birthmother. How much is too much information? Not b/c she shouldn't know but b/c is it necessary to worry her when even the specialists hadn't narrowed down the exact issues.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 3:14 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • cont..The extent of my son's medical issues have caused much debate in my family. My parents and my husband's parent do not see anything "wrong" with their grandchild. My MIL often disregards what is in his treatment plan and does things her way. As well as my MIL has become upset with me from time to time because she believes that as a nurse she knows what to do more so than the professionals (a whole team of them) do. Sigh. So my life has changed in ways I never would have ever imagined. It also isn't so bad. In fact his initial diagnosis and prognosis, although not the best news, did prove to me that I do have the ability to advocate effectively for my child.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 3:18 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • Almost all of my kids have special needs. When my next two come I will have 5 with autism, several considered MRDD, one who has RAD along with a host of other diagnosis, and a few other special needs as well. I think that life is even more special because I notice every miracle with them all. Potty training, singing some of the words to the song, "I love You"s, going to bed peaceful, good behavior stamps and every other accomplishment is even more special when it wasn't supposed to happen according to "professionals". I know that God meant each of these kids for me and I am so humbled to be their mother. I can't wait to see who He has for us next!
    mommy9

    Answer by mommy9 at 8:25 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • mommy9- I don't know how you do it! You must have alot of patience and alot of understading within you! I have days where I can't think straight, I get worn out, I want nothing more than to find a corner and curl up and cry because I don't know what else to do with one of my daughters. She has been in therapy since she was 6 months old, and we are nearing the end of her therapy journey. She can't sit still, she has a short attention span, she has some anger issues. Tonight I had a crying fest because I felt like the worst mom in the world because I couldn't make her sit down at the circus. Some days, like today, are a battle of wills with her.
    LizClara

    Answer by LizClara at 12:02 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

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