I use to be the type of person that was very outgoing, honest with my oppinions, loved to make people laugh, shrugged things off when something makes me upset, enjoyed spending time with my kids (bio & step),just a very happy person. then 3 years ago that went all to hell. My step kids mother ruined my relationship with my oldest SS (20 now) to where he wrote a letter to his dad about he had thoughts of killing me. My step kids ages are 20,10, and 6 and my dd is 7. She put ideas in their heads saying that i am trying to take her place make them call me mommy and i was the reason she cheated on his dad with HIS best friend (only the oldest knows the real reason they split). I wouldve been 15 ladies. I was the scapegoat for all their issues.
I am not going to make myself look innocent. Due to my childhood i had an attitude, we all did, especially when the boys moved in. they would try to take advantage and i wouldnt go for it. Even when i didnt do anything I was blamed or at times when dh got onto the kids for something, they ran and told her it was always me. Even when i would work over-time to help get what all the kids needed.I even asked her why does she hate me so much when all i was nice to her, no answer. When she acted stupid i didnt yell, i tried and talked to her like a person. It was just plain awful.
I have never cried or was more angrier than within those 2.5 years. I have anxiety (more when she calls or i am around her), my feelings are easier to get hurt,i am very quick to get angry, i dont force my oppinions,i want to run away and cry and my confidence is gone. I lost who i was and i hate it. Now my relationship with the younger ones (especially with his 10 yr son), is stronger. With my oldest SS, its ok, when he is at my house, but when we are around his mom he pretends i am not there. And i hate to say i even have anxiety around him too. Me and bio-mom speak only when we have to, but mainly thru text.
i tried talking to a therapist but that got expensive. And i didnt want to bug anyone I knew, because they already have too much on their plate. so i just keep to myself, which is not good. I love DH to death, but he doesnt understand why its hard for me at times, and why when something is bothering me, even though its the same thing, i want to talk about it. Granted she did cheat on him, and use the kids against him at times. Did anything similar or anything bad happened to where you felt lost? Did you ever overcome it? I am trying so hard but it stays with me.
Answer by Bmat at 2:11 PM on Feb. 4, 2011
Answer by GlitteribonMom at 2:19 PM on Feb. 4, 2011
Answer by samurai_chica at 2:31 PM on Feb. 4, 2011
Answer by Davina85 at 2:47 PM on Feb. 4, 2011
Answer by JackieGirl007 at 3:27 PM on Feb. 4, 2011
Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:32 PM on Feb. 4, 2011