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Adoption....in addition to our own children.

Is it a bad thing if we adopt, even though we were able to have our own healthy children?
I won't be able to have anymore than the 4 that I have. Is it a selfish thing to adopt children, even thought there are parents out there that haven't been able to have kids, and I have?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:46 PM on Feb. 4, 2011 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • No it's not. There are so many children that need loving families

    HomeAlone45

    Answer by HomeAlone45 at 5:10 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • There is nothing selfish about loving a child and giving them a home.....there is also never a good or bad time to have children, they come when they come.....bless you .....
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 2:48 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Adoption should seek to focus on the needs of children, not the needs of adults. I would think that the focus of any child's adoption would be that the child found the best possible home, whether the adopting couple already had kids or not, and not focus on which couple was deemed more deserving of a child for whatever reason. Is adoption about finding parents for kids or about finding kids for parents?

    That being said, infant adoption is very rare and many of those expectant mothers and babies could be helped to stay together by addressing their needs. There are, however, over 130,000 children legally cleared for adoption in the U.S. foster care system who need loving homes and dedicated parents who understand adoption issues (all adoptees need this, regardless of type of adoption or age at adoption. Babies are not blank slates). Why not look into foster care and help a child whose original family couldn't be repaired?
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 11:26 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • "As far as I am concerned every one against abortion should have tons of adopted kids."

    Abortion is a decision about pregnancy. Adoption is a decision about parenting. They have little to nothing to do with one another.
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 11:29 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I have seven biological children, and have adopted three times from the foster care system for a total of ten children. I'm married to the same man for 37 years. Of course it's alright for you to adopt when you have biological children - there are so many who need homes, and you are already an experienced parent, and ready to deal with any issues they may have.
    raleyfamily

    Answer by raleyfamily at 9:23 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • There is a dramatic difference in adopting "'children" as opposed to wanting to adopt a healthy newborn.

    In the foster care system, there are many children who need homes. Sometimes, they are not that easy to find, but they exist.

    However, there is fierce competition for newborns, and it is often very expensive to adopt a newborn in a traditional domestic infant adoption (DIA). Despite popular belief, there are not many healthy babies waiting for families. It is possible to adopt babies from the foster care system, but, it is may take time or happen quickly depending on many factors.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 1:00 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I had people telling me at times that I am being selfish for wanting to adopt when others can't have children but there is this passion in my heart telling me this is the right thing to do. I am going to do this because I was born to adopt a child.
    dragonqueen

    Answer by dragonqueen at 2:10 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • "As far as I am concerned every one against abortion should have tons of adopted kids."

    Abortion is a decision about pregnancy. Adoption is a decision about parenting. They have little to nothing to do with one another.

    Yes, you are right. I should have said that myself. Tying abortion and adoption together is a bad idea. I really don't think everyone against abortion should adopt, but, I understand the poster's point. Sorry, I didn't really mean that. But, I do agree that people against abortion should not be telling others what to do with their bodies or babies.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 2:19 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • When I was choosing a family for the son I relinquished, a pap told me that it wasn't fair that I was choosing a family that already had a child. Of course I didn't give a crap about being "fair" I wanted to be sure that my son wasn't any only child. If a woman in crisis pregnancy wants her child to grow up in a large family, who's to say you're selfish to raise her child as she wants it raised?
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 3:07 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • It's not "wrong" but typically (obviously not always) there are a higher percentage of PAP chosen who do not have children or who only have 1 child.

    Now if you are doing international adoption or foster adoption you aren't chosen by a birth mother/first mother and are adopting children who have been taken from their parents for abuse or who are in an orphanage in another country (unless you choose a country to sends abandoned children to foster parents like South Korea).

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

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