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I want to say something to her. But I know its not my place.

My SO"S cousin is 18 and had a MC a few weeks ago. They were like I dont even know how she would feel being around you guys. Because I'm 8m pregnant and we have 2 babies. I was ok with that because I know what she is going through and I didnt take it bad when they told me she wouldnt be coming to my baby shower because she would be to upset. Well last night her mom calls me and says she wants my 10m baby girl for a night and her mom wants my 2yr old son. Because she wants experience. I want to say something because I dont want her living my life and I affraid she will TTC to soon for her body she is a small girl. I know I have to keep my mouth shut because it is her life and it isnt my place but I really feel like someone needs to talk to her.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Nov. 16, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • You know, she's already hurting enough - I don't think I would say anything telling her when to try again. That's her choice, and there are moms on here that conceived right after a MC and had perfectly healthy pregnancies. Every person is different in how they heal (emotionally). Heck, I would let her babysit the kids! Maybe she'll see its not all sunshine and rainbows and consider waiting a while.

    Answer by Serafyna at 11:38 AM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • I don't let my babies go with anyone till they're a certain age for very long so I definetely wouldn't give mine for a whole night but especially not when she couldn't come to the shower because she wasn't ready.... I doubt she's ready for a night alone with a baby too. If she starts crying, the baby will start crying. I'd suggest that she come over and see if she's able to deal with being around the child before she attempts to be alone with one... just my opinion.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:32 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • I wouldnt let my kids go anywhere, for anyone to experiance,
    those are your babys and you must say

    Sorry but my kids are way to young to spend the night ANY where,

    for your info* i cant even let my 2 yr old say with my mom,
    i get my stomach when she is away from me more than an hour,
    i dont know why it just happens, it feels like a child being home sick, but a mother sick for her child to be with her

    their way to young hon..they wouldnt know what the heck they were there for, they will think WHY did mom send me here?

    and yeah she needs to talk to someone, and maybe you just need to say...hey sorry need help

    Answer by LexsiesMommy at 1:07 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • I have had 2 MC'S
    but i dont bring others personal lives and children into the mix,

    I think thats stupidity.
    I understand its a sad thing, i have been thru this beleive me,

    But that woman is just nuts,
    i wouldnt give her your kids for a night hell no

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • You can't judge her for how she decides to heal. If your kids have already been away from you for a night then I'd let them go.(I don't part well with mine LOL) I can tell you that an older child may not affect her as much as seeing a pregnant woman. After my m/c it was very painful to see my pregnant sister, however I had no trouble seeing my nieces and nephews. Newborns were hard to see too. Every woman is different. I was pregnant again the second cycle after my loss and have a beautiful daughter to show for it. Best thing you can say to her is "I'm sorry for your loss" and leave it at that.

    Don't say things like "It was God's will" "the child must of been sick" "I understand your hurt" (unless you do know the pain of a loss she won't believe you) "It's probably for the best"

    Answer by PeytonNBella at 1:09 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • I agree not to let the kids go. But she could come and visit you for a weekend or so.

    Answer by Bmat at 3:02 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • I like the first answer...Let her have a taste of reality.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:08 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

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