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What do you do to keep your kids from fighting ALL THE TIME?

My kids are 5 and 3 and they fight about everything, from coloring to sitting on the same spot on the couch. I am starting to go crazy. There are some days I take extra time at the gym b/c I know as soon as I go get them, the fighting and whining will start.

 
Bubbie0809

Asked by Bubbie0809 at 5:24 PM on Feb. 4, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 31 (47,643 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I find things they each like to do seperate and then put them in seperate bedrooms or really bad days. Or do to dollar store and target dollar place and find cheap new things and then wait for days just like the above day. Or we all work together making and decorating cookies or cupcakes.
    momindiana

    Answer by momindiana at 5:31 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • One idea..........My niece had a kindness chart in her home because her kids fought a lot. The kids have to do the things on the chart and they get points or stickers for doing them. After a week or so they get a day out to the park, go out for ice cream, have a special meal, go to a museum, etc. It has worked wonders for them. They helped design the chart and plan what to put on it too. Also, make sure they get enough one on one time with you and your SO. Plus praise when they do things right. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:09 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • My son is 3 and I have decided I would SUCK at being patient enough to deal with - he's going to be an only and I still hate listening to him complain about the cat looking at him or his toys or the kitten walking BY him... grr.. I couldn't imagine what it would be like if he had an actual sibling haha.
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:26 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • some of the fights you have to just let them battle it out. i have three girls - all girls - ages 4, 2, and 1. there is rarely a happy sisterly moment around here. someone takes someone elses sippy cup, toy, whatever. i would literally drive myself crazy keeping up with their every fight. i usually dont intervene unless its getting physical, which rarely happens. i also dont tolerate them yelling at eachother, so in that case ill separate them if the screaming gets to be too much.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 5:30 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • meant to say three kids - all girls. oh well you get the picture. lol
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 5:31 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • You are the only one who can stop it. What ever they are fighting over take it away. Or decide for them what they will do. If they both want to sit in the same place. Neither of them get to sit their. If they are fighting over a toy. Take the toy away. "You can't have it if you fight over it"
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:31 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I first sit them both in time out for fighting. At the end of time out, I ask each one what they could have done to make the interaction be better. I reinforce that, as brothers, they are the people that matter most to each other in the world. I then have them apologize to each other and give hugs. Since the whole ordeal takes about 15 minutes, they've learned quickly that making enough fuss to get mom involved doesn't serve either of their purposes. fyi: my boys are 6 and 10.

    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 5:40 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • i only have one kid right now.
    proudmom611

    Answer by proudmom611 at 5:41 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Before I though of having kids I started researching others' expertise on dealing with fighting siblings. I had 1 - a sister 3 years younger, with problems, much worse now we're older, but couldn't stand the though of my future children having such a dreadful relationship. I couldn't stand the thought of living with it either!! I found Margaret Mead's articles on the issue and her great comment about parents in other cultures, especially certain Chinese cultures in which parents tried to spend equal amounts of time with each child separately, teaching them one thing or another, getting them to help with tasks, learn skills etc. ALSO, when dissension started, they broke it up before it could escalate. The only thing was they were both so different I had to do completely different things with them and it took up a LOT of time!! It was a successful strategy they were and are great friends.
    nursemom4boys

    Answer by nursemom4boys at 7:17 PM on Feb. 4, 2011