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Have you ever been sexually abused by your spouse or S/O?

I'm also wondering how common it is for this to happen. It was during the early years of my marriage when this happened to me, but for religious reasons I didn't try to divorce. Now my philosophy is different, but kids are teenagers; he's a much better man now than he was when he was a young punk; but apparently I have issues now with my own lack of total forgiveness.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:47 PM on Feb. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • hugsNo. Sorry that happened to you


    My Grandma told me alot of stories where her husband would force her to have sex and she'd cry while he did it. If she didn't give in,he'd beat her

    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 5:49 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I'm so sorry that happened to you.

    My first serious boyfriend sexually abused me - it took a long time for me to trust someone in the bedroom again. I had to break up with him, I couldn't get past my anger. It's really hard to get over. Have you thought about why you can't forgive? Does he still have tendencies that make you uncomfortable? Has he apologized to you for the way he treated you? He needs to do that, sincerely, if he hasn't.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 5:55 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • my ex husband raped me, i had stopped having sex with him because i found that he cheated with a number of women, so he took it, i left him

    and my ex boyfriend tried to make me do things that I was not comfortable with, even blamed me for his 'different" interests, but then i finally figured it out, and left him, the therapist said it was sexual manipulation, and it was
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:56 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I am sorry. My DH has never RAPED me. I would not stay with him if he did that.
    But I have been raped.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:58 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Early in our marriage, my husband was a porn addict, and I didn't realize it. He verbally abused me in the bedroom, critisized me and bullied me into things I was uncomfortable with...My self-esteem plummetted, and the verbal abuse happened in other areas of our marriage also...We both came from families where our father's were alcoholics and porn addicts and treated our mother's the same way...I don't think either one of us understood it was abusive behavior....After 14 years of marriage things came to a head, and he has changed and I have changed and we are working on our marriage continually...but we have been through much and it has not been easy...we love each other, but forgiving him was the biggest obstacle for me...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:17 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I'm sorry that has happened to you. I've never had to endure continuous abuse, but I am a survivor of sexual assault.
    binkadink

    Answer by binkadink at 7:31 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I'm sorry that happened to you. I've experienced sexual abuse since I was a young child, first with being molested when I was too young to even know what it was and between the ages of 8 and 10 I was repeatedly forced to have sex with several boys in the neighborhood (and even to this day no one in my family knows about that). Despite the sexual abuse in my childhood I've never had any issues with sex; but I suppose the one negative aspect of it would be that it made it easier for my ex husband to manipulate me. I technically never said no to him but he knew when I didn't want it; the fact that I wasn't into it and at times cried from his verbal abuse during it didn't stop him. I never even said a word when we'd be in the middle of a fight and he'd throw me down and eventually turn it into sex. Finally my attitude has changed; I won't allow any man to abuse me that way again.
    momof2inCT2007

    Answer by momof2inCT2007 at 11:52 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I have had an ex s/o rape me, and an ex s/o who had verbally abused me down to the point of being sub to him. I finally overcame all that and now I believe with a lot of prayers I actually have something normal now with my current s/o and it is nice but any of that is NOTHING I have ever told him.
    AmI88

    Answer by AmI88 at 1:06 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • An ex-bf physically, verbally and sexually abused me. That's why he's an ex.

    I have no advice for you, but want to wish you the best in figuring this out.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 8:15 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

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