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4 Bumps

cutting

My daughter's counselor (sp?) from school called and said she has been cutting herself - again. She did it "once" and said it was just an experiment and wouldn't do it again. She told the counselor in group that she did it again Sunday. I'm so torn and confused. My own drug-pusher (psychologist) gave me a name to try for herand so I'm looking into that, but that isn't helping me NOW. Im divorced and I don't want to tell asshole, I mean her dad about this because he'll just make it worse, but the insurance is through him and he'll see the eob's and ask. I wasn't going to get him to pay his part of the copay - I was just want to keep it hush hush from him. UGH

Oh, and my son is a bully to her, and has major anger issues, so I'm going to try this place for him too.

Any thoughts, suggestions, prayers, etc.? And keep any "your a bad mom" comments to yourself because I don't really want to read it. (I've see some "lovely" women on cm cut other women down to the bone.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:22 PM on Feb. 4, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (13)
  • Good luck momma.
    I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.
    I don't have any experience with that but I'll help ya with a bump.
    Zom.B

    Answer by Zom.B at 6:26 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I don't have any experience with cutting either, and I agree with having her and your son talk to someone. There should be 24 hr. hot lines that you could call and talk to someone now. Even if it just brings you some peace now, it will give you time to get her the help she needs. I know in NJ there is the "second floor" hotline for teens. Maybe google would help.
    Good luck and keep us posted.
    wallmom1

    Answer by wallmom1 at 7:10 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Get them BOTH into counseling NOW and family counseling with your ex and the kids. This is a major issue that BOTH parents need to be informed of and learn how to properly deal with.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:11 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • This is a very scary place to be - both for you and for your dd. I am a recovering cutter and my 14 yr old dd is a cutter as well. If you ever want to talk with someone who KNOWS and has BEEN THERE - feel free to PM me. I will keep your confidence.
    I 100% agree with you about keeping this from her father - at least for now - because if he is NOT going to be supportive that could make this much worse. Right now, your daughter needs to be surrounded with love and support. Sometimes people, even family, don't understand and they get angry at the person out of fear or even some are heartless. I have been on the receiving end of heartless from family and it literally nearly killed me. All I wanted to do was cut even more! Please do what ever it takes to get her the help she needs. I had to have my dd go to an adolescent psych unit for a few weeks to get her on the right meds. Again, PM me anytime. I would love to help. God bless!
    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 12:54 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I feel like a part of your story. My twin brother and I are so much like your kids. Except in the case that my mother has no idea that I've been cutting off and on for 5 years, and she kind of lets my brother bully me and her.

    I don't have my dad in my life, but in my situation, its best to keep him out of our lives. It sounds like for you, maybe you should keep it from him for now, unless it becomes a situation where you really do need him around. I'd say your kids need your support more than the confusion.

    Good luck with this! Its a tough situation. But I'll keep you in my prayers. Getting help shows you're really a great mom. (: Hugs!
    rianneelizabeth

    Answer by rianneelizabeth at 1:18 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • no experience here either, good luck x
    san78

    Answer by san78 at 6:38 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • Thank you all for your kind words and support. I'll keep you updated. THIS SUCKS!! WHERE'S THE MOMMY MANUAL?!?!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:02 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I went through many years of cutting. I understand why people do it and how hard it is to stop. She will stop because SHE wants to and allows help. You and anyone else can't make her stop. Maybe try counseling. It doesn't work for everyone, but it's worth a shot. I hope things get better for her.
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 1:19 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • ~*Hugs*~... too bad you are Anon, don't see why you care what others think... those that Bash are the ones showing their true character!!! And I would hope real moms who care on here would stick up for you to stop the trolls...

    However the daughter issue, how is your ex getting a break down of the medical? Here in California that doesn't happen unless you are paying out of pocket because things such as reproductive and mental health are PRIVATE! As a mother myself, I say bite the bullet and do what is best for the child, and if he asks just state it is a private matter that you and your daughter are not comfortable talking with him about because he'll make things worse? Tell him like it is...

    Obviously something is causng her to cut, and as a minor in book smarts, from what I've read/learned it is a control issue, they do that because of the lack of control on other things that are usually not in their control to begin
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 1:26 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • With it being his insurance he'll see that she went to such and such doctor, demand to know what is going on and I'll have to tel him. Its in our divorce papers that he has the right to see any medical or school papers. Sucks that he is such a DICK on EVERYTHING, it would be nice to have help in this situation. The kids hate going over there, they can't stand their step-mother, and when he gets involved in this I dont know what the f-er will do. (I cant' stand him if you can't tell. lol) the kids know I can't stand him but I don't bad mouth him in front of them, and I try to keep my comments about that over there in line, but of course things slip out! Luckily they aren't used as pawns or things would be worse I'm thinking.

    and I'm bobbie (autbot) - i'll just go ahead and bite the bullet here lol
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:37 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

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