Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Could you forgive?

I found out 3 1/2 years ago (when I was pregnant with my son) that my husband would poke holes in the condoms when we had sex. I got pregnant and we then got married I was only 19 and this was with my DD. He told me while I was prenant with our son. THIS is the way he said it

"He said I wanted to marry you so bad and I knew you didnt want to get married so I poked holes in the condoms so you would get pregnant and marry me."

I never wanted to have kids he knew this I never thought he would be this horrid. I know I know I had sex with him but I was 18 and thought I was being safe using protection UGH I just cant get over it, I hate him I look at him and it makes me so mad I feel like he stole my whole life away from me. I had HUGE plans. DOnt get me wrong I love my kids but now im just so depressed.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:20 PM on Feb. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (30)
  • Wow, he sabotaged your entire plans for the future. I think I may run to therapy over that one...or just run him over. Either one.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 7:22 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • For me, it's a not only a trust issue, but a control issue. He was deceitful and didn't let you have a decision.

    I suggest going to marriage counseling, if you want to try to work on things.

    Answer by layh41407 at 7:22 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I would be furious. I don't think I'd ever be able to trust him again. That is an enormous betrayal.

    Answer by binkadink at 7:23 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Take a look at those huge plans and figure out a way to achieve them, even if you have to wait awhile. There is nothing you can't do if you plan for it. hug

    Answer by elizabr at 7:23 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • He betrayed and manipulated you, and didn't even consider your feelings or your plans. I would be mad as hell and honestly don't know that I could forgive him. Just reading your post pissed me off - how could he have done that? How selfish can he be?

    Answer by Scuba at 7:24 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I don't want to work on it anymore I have tried for 3 1/2 years and I cant get over it maybe I should talk to therapist to help with my issues from it.


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:25 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • You can still have a great life with great plans. You will have to work harder to achieve your dreams and juggle your family. You can do it!! I am going back to school and my son is the greatest in the world. Try to look at the bright side of this. You have wonderful kids. Try to work it out with your hubby and if you do not want any more children have him neutered!!! It is the least he could do for you and put this in the past and never bring it up again. Hugs to you!!


    Answer by jen2774161 at 7:25 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • 31/2 years?  Yeah, I would move on.  The trust has been completely broken.  It doesn't mean that you can't still have the life that you want but it's the fact that you had no choice in your own life.  That's bs.  I would be totally pissed if I were in this situation.


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 7:27 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • yes, talk to a therapist for yourself and hopefully it will help.

    Answer by elizabr at 7:28 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • This kinda happened with me. we used a condom and it broke, we were drunk and just having fun. he also said i had a plan" i knew if i got you pregnant i'd have you forever". he was so in love with me and i was with him also so this didnt bother me. i knew he was joking trying to make light of the situation. we've been happily married for 2 years and have a wonderful son who me adore. i would've married him even if he didnt get me pregnant

    Answer by mommaclow at 7:28 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.