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5 Bumps

living situation

My boyfriend/my daughters father lives in an apartment he just got a roommate and hes a complete stranger. he just moved in 2 days ago and i have never met him. he has a job and a 7 year old daughter that he gets on weekend and thats all i know. he does some sort of construction. anyway, i am working saturday night and my boyfriend wanted to watch our 18 month old daughter that evening/night. (but i will be there a little after midnight) i tried telling him i am nervous about leaving her there with this guy i have never met and know nothing about. he thinks its perfectly fine and made it sound like i was crazy when i asked him to do a background check. ill be so nervous when i take her. any thoughts woudl appreciate

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:39 PM on Feb. 4, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (10)
  • I think the only thing you can really do is discuss your feelings with him and ask him to just keep an extra close eye on things, if for no other reason than to appease your peace of mind. As a father, he should understand that it will take time for you and your little one to feel comfortable around this new roommate.

    Answer by binkadink at 7:43 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • DO NOT DO IT!  ALWAYS go with your feelings!  That is the best advice that I have ever received on Cafemom.  If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.  It doesn't matter if someone else thinks that your crazy for not wanting to leave your daughter there, she is your daughter and it is your choice!


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 7:44 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I would let him keep her that night. Then if you find any problems with your daughter that night take her to the hospital that nite get the proof and then tell him if he wants to watch her or see her anymore he has to come to your house or a place where u trust the people.

    Answer by mysticpurple at 8:05 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • First of all I would hope her father wouldn't let anything happen to her that she would need to go to the hospital for!!! If you trust her dad to have her alone.. than he must be a pretty good dad. I would say just make it clear the roommate makes you uncomforable and tell him you want to meet him before you leave your daughter there. Make sur ehe knows he should not be leaving her witht he roommate for any length of time when he isn't there. I know what you mean though GL.

    Answer by Anon344 at 8:42 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • He's a father..he has instincts as well as you do. Sometimes as mothers it is difficult to give our control and complete trust with our children to their fathers..but you have to do it eventually.

    Answer by LiviLove613 at 8:54 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I ultimatly wouldn't take the risk. If you feel it in your gut, stand your ground! Even if you have a chance to even talk to this guy for an hour, I still wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my kid alone with him for that long.

    Answer by shoot4thestars at 9:37 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • You need to go over there and meet this guy face to face. You need to ask this guy questions, regardless if you appear to be prying or not, and get to know him. I would NEVER leave my child anywhere when I knew there were going to be strangers there. I don't care if it is the child's father or a relative watching them. I don't know those people, so I'm not going to leave my children there.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:43 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I would let him keep her for the night, she will be with him.

    Answer by LiLJeni at 12:53 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I agree, take some extra time before you drop her off, meet the guy. He's a father, he'll understand that you want to meet and talk with him. There's no need to sugar coat it. Also, your daughter's father hopefully won't be leaving his daughter unattended with this person, I assume he's got some common sense. Just tell him your fears, have him reassure you that he won't be leaving her. Do a background check on the guy yourself, I think it makes sense.

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 12:55 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • Why can't they stay at your home?

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:23 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

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