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2 Bumps

help please

i will give you the short story. a few months ago my DH returned from his deployment. My 5 yr daughter has been whiney alllllllll the time. i mean the world is coming to an end she is such a drama queen. she only does this with me with her daddy she is good. my friend thinks im preggant becuase of an old wives tale... we are TTC. this has only happened in the past two months.. to top things off we are moving in the next month. i need help with the whining. IT HAS GOT TO STOP!

 
proudmom611

Asked by proudmom611 at 9:06 PM on Feb. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,067 Credits)
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Answers (16)
  • Maybe she is whiney because she does not have you all to herself and has to share you with daddy. It is okay for daddy to dote on her but not for you to dote on daddy. It is an adjustment. Maybe Daddy she tell her that it is not okay to be that way with mommy, it may have a little more impact since she is probably wanting to impress upon him right now since she has him home. Why not let him help solve the problem.
    2boysnaprincess

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 9:56 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • She is probably just confused! Kids don't really understand when daddy leaves then comes home. My son always gets weird before and after deployments or moving. Seeing as your daughter is 5, maybe you could ask her why she gets upset and whines? And don't give her what she wants because of the whinning. I am trying to stop doing that with my son, it is hard but I think it is helping!
    ILoveCade

    Answer by ILoveCade at 9:12 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I would guess she needs more attention and time. You have a lot on your plate.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:17 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • I have 5 children..3 boys and 2 girls..with my daughters..they would whine ALL the time. Someone suggested to me that when my dd would whine..tell her "I'm sorry I can't understand you when you speak to me that way, can you try and use your big girl voice?" And if she continued to whine, I would repeat myself and tell her, "I really would like to know what you are saying but I just can't understand you." It took a few times but eventually she got the idea...even now..my oldest daughter is 11...she will still try and whine and I remind her that I can't understand her..and she takes a breath and repeats herself. It takes patience and consistency. That's what worked for me..Good luck!
    hoping73

    Answer by hoping73 at 9:17 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Your daughter is in the Electra Complex phase of her life (happens around the age of 5-6--in boys it's called the Oedipal Complex)--see link below. She sees YOU as the wedge between her and her father--whom she naturally loves, and because she is still young, doesn't yet understand that YOU are not the one who "sent her daddy away" but blames you nonetheless!!


    I would encourage more family togetherness, so she doesn't see you as a "threat" to her relationship with her father.


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electra_complex


    I have always found human psychology to be a fascinating subject! :o)

    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 10:16 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • see thats the thing i dont give her what she wants. when she starts whining i send her to her room (i dont wanna hear the whining). she is old enough to tell me for the most part whats up but im thinking it may have more to do with our pending PCS. last time we moved she regressed with her potty training... hope i dont have any major problems this time around.

    proudmom611

    Comment by proudmom611 (original poster) at 9:18 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Be strong with her if she only does this with you she is testing your limits and wants your attention, confusing yes. My son dd it to me all the time I was the only one he was whiny with or acted up with everyone else he was anangel. I think they fear that we will also leave. Give her plenty of you and her special time but when she acts whiny put her in time out yes time out.bbI went to a parenting class and I did it with my son when he was older than that. But you need to be ready to stick to your guns and do it every single time she does it no matter what. I know it is hard believe me I did it but in the end I was glad becausr it reformed him.
    Good Luck
    21lisa72

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 9:52 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Be strong for her. And take some time out for ypurself. Maybe find someone you trust to keep her for a few hours a day.
    free1

    Answer by free1 at 11:13 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • My 6year old does the same thing except her dad is not around. We are battling custody and he is across the country. I have set up with Building Healthy Families, a program here that comes to the home and does evaluation of discipline and reward methods that would work for each child in the family. They are coming Wed and I cannot wait! I have also set her up for counseling with a lady that goes to the school. I wish you luck and sorry I didnt have advice to offer. Just letting you know, it's not just you. There are others too.
    huntin_mama

    Answer by huntin_mama at 11:35 PM on Feb. 4, 2011

  • Some kids just dont do well with change and one that doesnt add to that military life,wheh.
    Try explaing to her that you understand she isnt feeling happy, that its okay to not feel happy all the time and start prepping her for another change by finding out best you can what is offered for her interests there and tell her just in case not all info. is correct "Guess what?... I found out there is suppose to be a........-something that will interest her here-" tell her a few things and how moving is gonna help daddy with his military job and again another fun/interesting thing for her there,........ and if she really just needs to keep a bond with where she is now...take something moveable from home now to new home as a reminder, try to get someone that can send her a card/note from old home to new home ( but have a fun day plan activated when she recieves card from old home- he can have someone in military help with such also
    kingkongsmom

    Answer by kingkongsmom at 5:52 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

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