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15 Bumps

How do I survive?

I know my dd is the most important thing to me in the world and i never want to get back with my dh because even if it was an accdent he still broke her ribs and did drugs. But I still miss him and love him, wishing i didn't have to pull a protection order on him. But I know in order to gain custody of my baby agian he's out the door. I also had to get rid of all my pets to show how serious I am to get her back. But How do i fight the pain and sorrow of losing the life I always wanted?

 
Cattybird4

Asked by Cattybird4 at 12:27 AM on Feb. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (52 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (30)
  • I don't think OP really wants this 'life I've always wanted' with THIS particular guy, they one who broke her daughters ribs. (even though she still loves him) I think this is part of her problem. She is realizing that she *thought* she had this life, but it all fell apart. And in a bad way, in a violent way. And that violence was towards her baby. It doesn't sound to me that she is mourning the loss of this life she's always wanted with HIM, it sounds to me that she's worried she won't ever have the life she's always wanted...EVER. But she will. And she needs to realize that. However, that's NOT what she needs to worry about right now.
    I know OP said she still loves him, that's sometimes hard to shake. She trusted him, and for a chic in the military, that can be hard. She really thought she had her ideal life. It just fell apart. Give her some slack. She said she never wants him back, and pulled the restraining order. OK?
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 2:35 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • How can you possibly love a man that BROKE your daughters ribs? REALLY! He'd be dead if he touched my child!!
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 12:32 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • You survive by knowing that you are doing what's best for your child.

    You really wanted a life that involved a guy that would hurt an innocent child? There are other guys in the world that will treat you and your child like the most important gifts in the world.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 12:33 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • Step 1 Realize that WASN'T the life you always wanted... it just had some aspects of the life you always wanted.
    Step 2 Get yourself healthy mentally/psychologically and maybe physically before you try to take care of someone else.
    Step 3 Make a list of things that you ACTUALLY want in your "perfect" life. And a list of things that you DO NOT want in your "perfect" life. Make sure that you take steps to get the items on your ACTUALLY want list, and NOT on your DO NOT want list.
    Step 4 Get involved in the community
    Step 5 Get involved in activities that make you happy, and that you can do with your DD.
    Step 6 Look back at your old life and say "WHEW! Great choice!" I'm much happier now.
    Good Luck.
    ladymomtraveler

    Answer by ladymomtraveler at 12:36 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • You can still get married and have a family. Life is not over just because this one rat was in your life.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 12:37 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • Abusive people rarely change; I'm with Kathy if he hit my kid, I would never be able to be in the same room with him again…
    You have to be the grown up and move on! This guy can't be good for you, he hit your dd, she's the one I am sorry for, bless her heart!
    agentwanda

    Answer by agentwanda at 12:45 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I think I would be more in sorrow of trying and having to get my child back. That is what should be more important and more of what I would be worrying about. The heck with that man, if he is doing drugs and broke her ribs, why would you be so worried about him?? Accident or not he did it, and that is very uncalled for. He's lucky he wasn't with someone like me, I can promise you he would have been begging to go to jail just to get away from me. Woman, worry about your kid not what you had, how could that have been something you always wanted, not only for you but your child as well?? Move on get your child back, and leave all thoughts of him alone. Hopefully they throw him under the jail for doing something like that and he becomes someones girlfriend in that place. What a creep.
    I don't know why you would have any pain over missing someone like that....
    AmI88

    Answer by AmI88 at 12:34 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • Sounds like there were much more issues than just him hurting your dh. Just try and think to yourself, is that the life you always imagined for yourself and your child? You can still get married and have a family and I hope next time is better for you.
    buzymamaof3

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 12:40 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • *hugs*
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 12:48 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I understand the married part, I was married to a coke head at one time but I sure do not miss him. HE almost got himself and me locked up one time over his stupid ways because of it. Then what would have become of my daughter??? I don't miss him, I don't miss our marriage, when he did what he did and started beating me and having parties with our daughter (newborn at the time) in the middle of it with coke deals, beer drinking and everything else going on while I was at work the WHOLE MARRAIGE THING went out the window when he went out the door. The best thing he EVER did was leave and NEVER come back. NO ONE should miss anything from anyone like that, including that jerk you were married to. That is no man....neither is my ex.
    AmI88

    Answer by AmI88 at 12:41 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

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