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What is the problem for some DH's to do a little house cleaning??

Is is in the men's DNA that is why they can't seem to do a little light housekeeping? Or take care of the toddler/baby? I got so pissed at myDH tonight!! Didn't do a damn thing today. I had appts with my doctor, errands to do, and a little down time from a daughter who is the the middle of the "terrible 2's" Got home, a pile of dishes, so I had to wash them before I could cook dinner. Didn't see any leftover oatmeal on her bib or in her high chair, so I asked hime what she had for breakfast, He said she ate one of those oatmeal bars, a few cookies, and chocolate milk. Those bars are not in any shape or form a healthy breakfast. Then I asked him what she had to drink today cause I was gonna give her some with dinner cause we were low on milk or when was the last time she had anything to drink since the milk at breakfast. He said nothing, she hasn't asked him for something to drink!!! GHRRRR!!! I left this morning around 8 or so, she was starting to wake up when I left. All day long she hasn't had anything to drink in 10 hrs!!!! I thought I was gonna bite off my tongue! My daughter doesn't like when I yell so I don't do it when she is in the room. She doesn't care if daddy yells though...wonder why?? Anyway, am I over reacting??


Asked by Michigan-Mom74 at 3:53 AM on Feb. 5, 2011 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • I read somewhere that when women decided to break the gender roles, men did not. So our generation is a struggle as the roles change. Some men take on more domestic roles but a lot of men just haven't got there yet. My suggestion to you is to stop focusing on what he does wrong and find the things (even if they are small) that he does right. Men respond to praise but totally tune out any form of "nagging". Its difficult but over time if you do this his postive behavior will increase. I've used this method and it really does work.

    Answer by bjane01 at 7:31 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • Maybe he's just clueless about what needs to be done and how to care for the toddler? How often has he been responsible for the child since she was born? Has he ever done any reading on child care? Before you left, did you go over what tasks you expected to be done and the foods you wanted your child to eat? Many men have no experience with cleaning or child care, it's not fair to expect a man with zero experience to just know everything.
    If it's the case that your husband just doesn't have a clue, you could sit down with him and in a calm and loving manner, educate him on a few things. And if you want to go out and need to leave him in charge, just give him a list of things to do, both with the house and the child. That way, at least he knows what needs doing and what the child's schedule is.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 7:31 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • There is a big difference between doing the house cleaning and not caring for the baby! So, she had a cup of milk with breakfest and nothing else after that? That is crazy!!! I really have never understood the mentality that men don't need to help out around the house. My husband was great when out son was little! Even though I was a SAHM, when he was home we would switch off on diapers, and he was always in charge of bath time and cutting nails! Now, he doesn't do nearly as much! But he does a lot more cooking now to help me out, so I appretiate that! I don't think you are over reacting at all! That is awful!!!

    Answer by ILoveCade at 4:04 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • That would be last time I left any child with him and he could cook/clean for himself too.

    Answer by kingkongsmom at 4:37 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • Your not alone, df is the same way, it happens about 3-4 days out of the week.Ill end up exploding & then im the one w/a problem. I do have to admit that he has changed on some things for example on monday i work from 8am-12midnight 16hrs, i would call during dinner to see if the boys were eating or what he cooked& he would say cereal because he asked the kids what they wanted& thats what they said, i flipped a few times because of that so now he cooks, seems lika a mission impossible but its

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:43 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • My husband is nothing like that. He is perfectly capable of caring for our children, all 5 of them. He will clean up but, I try to have it done before he gets home so, he doesn't have to. He sometimes fixes dinner. I don't stay gone for 10 hours at a time, when I leave it is for no more than 4 or 5 hours.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 8:09 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • Some people have lazy guys that don't think they should help out. My Husband is NOT one of them..but I don't ask or expect Him to help, He WANTS to.

    Answer by -AJ at 12:55 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • mine doesn't stop cleaning
    i swear he has ocd or something
    when there is a mess he's right there cleaning it up
    drives me crazy

    Answer by Amanda11810 at 10:49 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • It sounds like he is lazy and inconsiderate point blank. The housekeeping thing is one thing but not caring properly for dd is unacceptable. I would address this with him and speak my mind!

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 4:02 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • because the women allow it,. The DH knows at this point that his wife will just do it eventually, so why bother?

    My DH helps out alot, in fact, we all (older kids too) take certain parts of the house as our chore area.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 4:39 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

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