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What type of relationship do you have with your child's step parent,or should there even be one at all? Does the communication/relationship need to be strictly between the mother and father?

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luvmy3boys757

Asked by luvmy3boys757 at 7:28 AM on Feb. 5, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I think I have a decent relationship with her. It's better for my son. We can all go to his events and he doesn't feel a strain. We stand together or sit together and he doesn't have to choose where to run after the event is over.
    HOWEVER, if we are making a decision about him, it is NOT her place to get involved. That is between me and his dad. She tries, but I tell my ex that it is between him and I, not her.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 7:32 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • Oh and I usually have to point out to him that he wouldn't like if my DH was involved in those decision
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 7:33 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • well, i dont have much of a relationship with her bio-dad, so that makes it virtually impossible to have one with her "step-mom" and i use that word loosely and cringe at it. although, technically, thats what she is.

    that woman has made my life hell ever since my ex was getting into her pants. she not only has insulted me, BUT also insulted her "step-daughter" and my other children. my ex didnt say anything to her about it, therefore both of them are pieces of shit to me.

    i think if things were normal for us, there wouldnt really have to be a relationship but hopefully no animosity either. it would probably be more comfortable for everyone if we all got along, especially if theres visitation or shared custody involved.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 7:42 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I tried to have a decent relationship with my DD step mom, but she wont have it. She has labled me a neglectful mom since dad one because they had to take my daughter to the dentist and she had to one 1 cavity filled and a root canal. they were baby teeth. the dentist that done the root canal didnt clean the root area well enough and it got abcessed and had to be pulled. I wasnt able to take her cause his child support was coming like it was suppose to and i didnt have the money. Medicaid on was pending. now this is coming from a woman who let her 7 year old suck on a pacifer. she is constantly tell him that i am not follow the guidelines set by the court and he says something to me..... the only thing i am not doing is his regular visitation. he lives 240 miles from us and i drive 120 every other weekend. That cost me round trip taking her and picking her up, more then his support. But i have tried being civil for DD sake!
    Teresa2266

    Answer by Teresa2266 at 9:03 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • Well I am the step mom and my step son live with us and his mom wont have anything to do with me, even though her son is with me just about 24/7. I would love a decent relationship with her but I know it will never happen as long as he lives with us.
    aheuszel

    Answer by aheuszel at 9:43 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I am a step-mom and I have a pretty good relationship with bio-mom. It makes things easier all the way around. In fact, bio-mom doesn't even talk to my husband anymore. I mediate between them, because every time they spoke to each other they would fight. They were incapable of having a calm, rational conversation with each other, so I stepped in. (Actually now things are better, and when she can't get ahold of me, she can call him and things go more smoothly, but it's been 12 years, so they've both had time to grow up!) As far as decisions go regarding my stepson, she knows I speak on behalf of my husband. Sometimes I tell her I will consult with him, and call her back, or sometimes I already know what he would want, and we go from there. She knows I'm not trying to take over, and this is what has worked best for us, in our situation.
    my2.5boys

    Answer by my2.5boys at 11:35 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • We're civil - we're not friends but are friendly with each other. I talk to my ex about the kids, never to the step mom. (Not because I don't think she should be included, but because my/our kids aren't her responsibility. If she wants to be involved, that is up to my ex.)

    My DH's ex is a nightmare, I never see/talk to her. DH handles any communication with her.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 11:59 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

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