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3 Bumps

Adult child opening your bank statement!

I was living with my 35 yr. old DD and her family for a short time and I was working. She got mad bc she said I wasn't saving enough money to get out on my own. She told me she had opened my bank statement. I was shocked bc if, I done to my mother she would have killed me. So, I ended up going back to my ex bc of this. Would u be pissed if, your child did this?


Asked by pswiley at 3:09 PM on Feb. 5, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 17 (4,349 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • Just wait when she asks to borrow money tell her she already knows you don't have it!

    Answer by grismelda at 5:33 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • I would have stayed their. But changed all my mail to a P.O.Box. so she could not snoop in my mail.

    Answer by louise2 at 3:12 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • ~*Wow*~ that is not just disrespectful towards you but a federal crime!!!

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 3:12 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • yes i would be its a violation of privacy and actually opening up someone elses mail is a federal offense. I dont think she meant to do it to be spiteful though, i think she was curious to see how you were doing in the process of moving out on your own but she went about it the wrong way she should have just asked you. Just do what you can for now and perhaps find a roommate to share an apartment and expenses?

    Answer by Bobbysgurl at 3:13 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I can see it from both sides. My father used to live with me after he lost his job but promised to get another and save to move out. After about a month of NO job and started to feel like he was sucking off of me. Yes he is my father and i wanted to help him but he is my father and i am the child. He was with me for about 5 months still no job so finnaly i told him i couldnt afford it anymore so he then got a job within 2 days. After about 5 more months him working everyday he still had no plans to move out. I wanted to know where all his money was going? I asked around and followed him one night found out he was gambling and doing drugs!!! So in my case i dont think it was unfair for me to snoop.....however i would hope you wouldnt do that to your daughter and you where trying your best. I would say you two need to talk about it more so she is isnt wondering? she should have asked you first though!!

    Answer by lil_momma_vdv at 3:25 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • It was wrong. But I would not be angry, I would be hurt that my daughter did not trust me to be doing everything I could to establish myself. Unless of course, if I was not doing it.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 3:13 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • ~*Bless You*~, and I appologize on your daughter's behalf, because that was completely out of line... but mostly Bless you for not just working but coming home to help her with HER kids!!! I wished my mother was half as great as you sound, and I'll add you tomy prayers!!!

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 3:24 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • It's a FEDERAL CRIME to open mail that isn't addressed to you.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 3:25 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • i probably wouldnt have opened it but maybe snuck a peek after it had already been opened. if its taking you some time to get a place because you don't seem to have the money i would be curious too

    Answer by shay1130 at 3:15 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • yes I would have what was she hoping to find was she trying catch you in a lie or did she want you out either way that was so messed up. I mean so what if you had money to live on your own whatever happened to when she was a child growing up that should never change family helping family. I can not believe this happened to you omg I am sorry for her she should have known better. GL Keep your chin up you'll be fine. GL

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 3:15 PM on Feb. 5, 2011