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3 - 4 year-old drama queens?

My 3.6 year-old daughter and her bff have been so close for about a year -- recently though, they have started fussing a lot with each other (As I know children will do). My daughter hasn't even wanted to go to preschool lately because of this! I have stayed objective and just encouraged my child to play nice and make other friends as well. Well, they had a playdate (at her house) this morning -- and when I picked her up, the other parents said the girls were both being crabby and when the mother asked what was wrong -- my child said, "I just don't want to be her friend anymore." Of course the other little girl burst into tears -- So I tried talking about it on the way home (and explained why we shouldn't hurt another's feelings on purpose), but all my child will say is, "Well, sometimes, I just don't want to be her friend." UGH! Will they grow out of this? Is there something else I should say?


Asked by BaileysMom476 at 4:23 PM on Feb. 5, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (4)
  • It sounds like just what you said. "drama queens" From what I've seen the closer mine got to 4 years old, the more bossy and controlling she became. Sometimes getting mean. I often hear her counting to three with the other toddlers. Something I've really been trying to work on with her. Ask your daughter about conversations and things with her freind. See what she says. Could just be an attitude change in the other little girl and your daughter is tired of being bossed around...every little girl wants to be a princess.

    Answer by tornadotwinsx2 at 11:22 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • This is normal for that age. We have a whole classroom of They change best friends 5 times a day and are either crying or giving each other hugs. We know it's a stage and go with the flow. We handle each situation as it arises.

    Answer by lilachievers at 11:26 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Your daughter obviously has her own reasons for not wanting to be friends with the other girl and you should respect them. She is trying (in her own way) to set her personal boundaries and that should be encouraged, not stifled. It would be nice if everyone was friends but that's not how it works. The best thing you can do is to encourage her boundaries but also model and teach compassion and consideration at the same time. Just be careful not to stomp the first with the others. "I understand that you don't want to be friends with so-and-so anymore and that's ok. You are a big girl and YOU get to decide who your friends are. But please remember to still be kind to so-and-so. It probably hurts her feelings to hear you say you don't want to be her friend. Instead of hurting her feelings, let's find a new friend for you to play with." Focus on making new friendships and letting the old friendship kind of fall aside.

    Answer by DanielleB10 at 4:39 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • I agree with DanielleB10.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 6:29 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

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