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How to spank?

I don't see an issue with spanking, but I'm not sure how you're supposed to do it. My mother said I should never use my hand because I'm not the one in trouble and that it should always be on bare skin so that she gets the point. My friend told me the point of spanking isn't to hurt the child just to make a point. So she said you always want to use your hand and never smack bare skin...

Now, I'm new to all this and I'm afraid that if I take my mom's advice someone could think I'm to rough on her and call CPS. But if I take my friends advice I'm afraid she'll be a monster child and I'll loose her to some military school...

I don't know what to do. All I know is timeouts and taking clothes don't work - EVER! Help!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:01 PM on Feb. 5, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (13)
  • Hitting with something other than an open hand is not considered spanking. It's considered beating, and is illegal. I would urge you to try anything else other than spanking, though.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:04 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • No, anon, it's not illegal. My friend told me that, and I looked it up, and no, it's not abuse. It's perfectly legal. It's how I grew up and I'm thankful for it, however, I'm afraid of super sensitive people like you that worry me.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:08 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I wouldn't spank with anything but an open hand and I would not spank on bare skin. That hurts a lot worse then with clothes on! And I was spanked as a child and did not end up in military school actually I was one of the better kids in my high school! While all my friends were out running wild I respected my parents (not feared) and new right from wrong! I am hoping I am instilling that same in my son!

    Answer by ILoveCade at 7:08 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I agree with your friend. You your open hand and not on bare skin. Also, only one swat. Anymore than that and you are just frustrated.

    Answer by layh41407 at 7:09 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • Well, they both agree that I should put her over my knee, is that still how people do things?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:11 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I had an issue with CPS and of course if was unfounded b/c I dont abuse my children. However, I told her that I do spank them. The legal way to spank (OMG can u believe that there is a legal and illegal way..if there werent abusive parents out there, this would not exist):
    No more than 3 connections (3 swats, smacks, whatever)
    NEVER to bare skin...has to be a diaper, pants, etc.
    Only to legs or butt. Never anywhere else. I have heard this even means not to smack the hand of a curious toddler but I forgot to ask and i'm not sure.

    Answer by huntin_mama at 7:11 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I don't know why you want your child to think that hitting solves problems

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:38 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • rkoloms
    You don't believe in spanking--fine--then don't answer the freaking question!!!!!!!!
    She isn't 'hitting' she is spanking, there is a difference. I did a study once. I asked people if they had been spanked as a child. I then asked those people who said yes if they thought that hitting others was ok. Guess what?? No one said they thought that hitting was ok due to being spanked as a child. They usually laughed at the question.

    Answer by layh41407 at 7:47 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Hitting is wrong! There are ways to get through to a child and to teach them respect without physical punishment. Btw, this is a public forum and anyone can answer these questions. Hitting a child is wrong, period.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Only suitable for minors?:

    Schoolchildrens' "spanking" related injuries (WARNING - These images may be deeply disturbing to some viewers. Do not open this page if children are present).

    Reasonable and moderate? You decide.
    (WARNING - This sound recording may be deeply disturbing to some listeners. Do not open this file if children are within listening range).

    Recommended by professionals:

    Plain Talk About Spanking
    by Jordan Riak

    The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
    by Tom Johnson

    by Lesli Taylor MD and Adah Maurer PhD

    Answer by PDeverit at 4:27 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

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