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Do you feel like your love has changed?

My husband and I got married a month ago, our son is 8 months old and I feel like our love is disapearing. I do not feel sexually attracted to him, he doesnt take care of himself physically nemore, we do not spend time together like we used to, I would rather him be gone than with me because if we are together we will argue? I dont know what to do? what can I do to help? is there any hope?

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jaevenmomma

Asked by jaevenmomma at 11:20 PM on Jul. 7, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • I was always told right after I got married that the first year was the hardest. I think that was true for us. Being married and making it work is alot of work! I also think it's normal not to have the tingling feeling ALL the time! Just take one day at a time and talk to each other about how your feeling! Communication is so important in makin any relationship work!
    luvnmy3kid

    Answer by luvnmy3kid at 11:38 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • thats a little early to feel that way, but i understand ive been with my guy for about 5 years and when our son arrived 5 months ago its not been the same, i think its just getting used to antoher being in our relationsip cant be selfish with time anymore, get used to not watching tv cause a baby is crying his head off, its stressful and harder for the guy to adapt to and that makes us more mad and frustrated and at each others throat.
    i cant say what to do other than talk to each other calmly about problems i still not sure if we are going to make it i just keep thinking at this point whats best for the baby, but we are more like business partners than people who love each other..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • I could be our hormones getting back to normal. ANd you could be tired also, DOes he help you with things around the house so that you have alne romantic time? You need that to get back to that state. Have someone watch the baby for you. Sometimes from breast feeding also you feel like you don't want to be touch sexually. Having a baby suckling and then here comes hubs wanting to touch you and suck you too can be annoying.
    It can be he's pulling back b ecause he feels the baby is getting all the attention.
    Just some FYI, I'd get sexual again for him and give him some love affection and attention soon if you notice a difference in him. Those are the times when husbands go havng affair, becasue they are feeling neglected, and need to validate themsleves.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • Once married the dynamics of the relationship changes. There are adjustments to be made and a family to plan and a household to run and work to be done. It all takes a toll on newlyweds. In any relationship it is best to set boundaries but sometimes you can renegotiate them. I would first find out if there was any physical problems like the hormones mentioned above. He could even need a physical himself. You could suggest that you'd like to work out with him or even go on family walks to get fresh air and be together. I would steer clear of subjects that might cause an argument though. Maybe you two have a male friend that might invite him to the gym. I would have date night and go out and be together for fun. A lot of newlyweds have so many serious adjustments that they forget to have fun. I've been known to sit on the couch with a sign on my chest saying I NEED ATTENTION! Some guys work hard and forget we need time and attention. There is nothing wrong with reminding them!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:10 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • The first year is full of so many roller coasters, but any time there are big changes, especially a baby, it happens too. Give yourself time, but if you are feeling other signs too, I would talk to your Dr. about post partem depression...it's harsh.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

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