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how do you handle this situation?

HOW SHOULD SHE HANDLE THIS SITUATION?


my neice and the father of her daughter have been bumping heads they ended on a bad note and now they hate each other well today when we went to the baby off at the meet up spot(star bucks parking lot) they started arguing over what?i have no clue i went in star bucks and came out and they were yelling,he called her "a dumb Bitch!"she slapped him next thing you know his girlfriend (hes been with for a month)got out of the car and Spit in my niece face she then got upset and took the baby out of his car and snatched the diaper bag from him and drove off and then on our way home she texted him and said some really cruel thing like"Were gonna need to get a DNA test because i don't think your the father of my baby, & he replied"well when are we going to do this? and she said "When i feel like it don't f*ckn rush me and you cant see my daughter until we get the results and after we get the results i want you to sign over your rights i don't want you in her life at all your nothing but a low life bastard...she also said some more threatening things to his girlfriend but i don't want to get in to that..


How should she handle this situation?im not taking any sides here because in my eyes they both were wrong but she"s really upset right now and honestly im lost for words at this moment its just all a little too much


how would you handle this if you were HER?

Answer Question
 
LABELmeCUTE

Asked by LABELmeCUTE at 9:33 PM on Feb. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,951 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Im a firm believer in never hae a huge fight in fron of the child or degrade each other no matter how young or hold.I come from a divorce family and seen it happen to many times.That stuff effects kids no matter what the age. The child has thought of this guy as her or his daddy and has formed an emotional bond. Keeping the guy away is punishing the kid. Maybe they should drop the kid off and not speak thats better than fighting. If the guys girlfriend is a problem make a rule where you have to drop the baby off without their partner. She needs to keep in mind if those text are saved and the matter ends up in court it looks bad on her behalf..Even if they hate each other they need to respect each other for the babys sake.
    melandaabc

    Answer by melandaabc at 9:50 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • My ex treated me horrible. I had to have him arrested for domestic and he never stopped the verbal abuse. How ever my son had just turned 3 years old when we split and no matter what he said or did I was just quiet. If he was really horrible loud aggressive I would judt say in a very calm voice "Look if you want to see him you need to stop this", he would stop till I left than after he dropped him off he would start again. He did not stick around for long. We havent seen him in years and its a good thing!
    21lisa72

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 10:00 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I think they are both incrediably wrong..coming from a third party situation like this and seeing it first Hand..

    I'm the girlfriend in it..of the father who really takes care of te kids..and an exwife who is..a bitch

    She needs to just breath and relax. They need to figure out how to co parent without dragging their past and their relationship into it..because it doesnt matter anymore..all that matters is that baby. They need to stick to their agreed meeting spot and NOT exchange words that have Nothing to do with their baby..and IF something gets outta han BOTH need to walk away.

    If shes serious about a DNA test..then she needs to get it done..and Not Stick this poor guy with raising someone elses baby. Shes damn lucky hes atleast TRYING to be in his daughters life..depsite the situation..Most Men would NOT do that.

    BUt they need not argue and act like that infront of their daughter..its just gonna screw her up
    SweetPoison

    Answer by SweetPoison at 10:08 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • First of all she needs to grow up. Anger management maybe? As far as a DNA test, she needs to do that ASAP because if she doesn't, he can. If she is just playing games, well, then she is a bitch. With the girlfriend, sounds like she is giving the girlfriend a reason to file for a personal protective order. She needs to control herself in front of her child. This child is going to have all kinds of issues if she keeps this crap up. Seriously, she needs help.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 10:24 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • They also need to stop baiting each other. He needs to not have his girlfriend, and she needs to not send him nasty messages. They need to learn to keep their cool, and not make asses out of themselves. Sweet is right, their past relationship is just that, their past. What is the here and now is their child. They are not putting the baby first, they are putting themselves first, and if they end up getting in trouble with the law, that will be pointed out to them.
    This honestly sounds like your niece is jealous of his GF. Either way, they both need to accept their relationship is over, and move on. Clearly they haven't done that. Until they can be civil, maybe someone else should meet with him to give him the baby for his visitation.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:28 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • The second the girlfriend spat in her face, that is assault (yes, spitting at someone is assault) and I would have taken the baby too. If a DNA test is needed then they should do that. If the baby is his, I think that the person who is dropping off the child should send someone else to do so, this way they never have to see each other. Is there court ordered visitation? If not, I would keep the child away from him until his girlfriend learns her place in the situation (on the sidlines)
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 11:00 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • @JLS2388 i agree 100% and she says the baby is his for sure she was just being immature when she said those things and the baby looks just like him but a DNA test is needed so there wont be any doubts in the near future and yes the girlfriend needs to stay on the sidelines lol
    LABELmeCUTE

    Comment by LABELmeCUTE (original poster) at 11:13 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

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