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is it ok for a new bf to bail on you when you have a funeral to go to

so your favorite uncle dies and your bf of 2 months decides to drop you off and (*in your car*) and pick you up when your done...would you be upset or just blow it off because your just "so in love" that you cannot see how shitty this really is...


mind you he says this is no way to meet the family...well it should not matter how you meet family esspecially since your gf has just lost her favorite uncle...

so tell me am I wrong for being annoyed?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on Feb. 5, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • if that is his reason, it´s shitty. In my case, ex hubby just couldn´t stand funerals. He was soooo scared of them, he just didn´t DO funerals, not even the ones in his own family. It meant the world to me when he came to my grandma´s and to an aunt´s (it was HIS favorite among MY aunts), but he just made an appearance, didn´t stay with me. When my dad and my mom died (dec 2004 and march 2005) he was traveling (and we were already divorced), but he did email me (I joked: the lengths you´ll go to not show up at a funeral).
    Belovedmoonpixi

    Answer by Belovedmoonpixi at 11:36 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • Since you haven't been together for that long and he hasn't met your family yet then I would say yes. If he had already known them or you had been together longer that would be different.
    countrygirl06

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 11:33 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I'm not trying to side with your boyfriend but I will say death is hard. If I were in his shoes and I'd only been dating 8 weeks, I'd feel uncomfortable. Death is a very personal, emotional thing and 2 months is not that long for something so emotional. He probably wasn't ready for it and I wouldn't want to meet a family that way, either. Sorry for your loss. I'm not meaning to offend, just saying I understand how uncomfortable he may be.
    fricky29

    Answer by fricky29 at 11:36 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I think the BF is right. That is no place to make a first introduction to the family. If your cousin was getting married and he bailed then...that would be different. Funerals are highly emotional, very personal things. I would not want to attend a funeral of someone I didn't know. It isn't like you've been going out for a year and he already knows the family.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 11:36 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • You haven't been together that long, and he's right. Thats a crappy way to meet the family. I can't say I blame him for being more than a little uncomfy. Personally, I HATE funerals and only go if its someone very very close to me.
    KWnavywife

    Answer by KWnavywife at 11:38 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • i agree with your bf, it is a weird way to meet family for the 1st time. too much pressure to meet them when everyone is in a sad mood.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 11:38 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I too agree with your BF, a funeral isn't the place to meet family. His role at 8 weeks of dating was to be your shoulder to cry on at home, and to support you at home in any way he could. But I completely understand his hesitance at not wanting to attend the funeral of someone he's never met, having only been with you 8 weeks. If you had been dating longer and he knew at least some family then I'd say it more appropriate for him to attend.
    ba13ygrl1987

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 12:25 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • 2 months, I can understand, it might be an awkward way to meet the family. It would be nice to have his support though. Why is he driving your car though? I hope you aren't being taken advantage of.
    EverydayMomma

    Answer by EverydayMomma at 11:37 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I agree with the BF, a funeral is no place to meet the family for the first time. You have just started dating, it would be different if it was a parent or if you were dating longer. You barely know the BF at 2 months. I would give him a pass. Also, he could be freaked out about funerals, I have panic attacks if I know I have to go to a funeral.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:39 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • too soon for him to be going to those things, needs more time to know who your family under better contions
    tamithy

    Answer by tamithy at 8:13 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

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