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Feeling Guilty... Vent but advice is welcomed.

When my daughter was an infant (0-11 months) my Husband was deployed and my family lived 8 hours away. I am a SAHM and I did everything alone. She is now 15 months old and I'm feeling like I took her babyhood for granted.
She is walking and talking and feeding herself... and all I can think is, "why did I push you so hard to grow up??" I know she is still a baby but.. I couldn't wait for her to hold her own bottle (and sippy cup), then crawl, then walk, then use a spoon and fork. I also remember many days thinking "I can't wait for nap time (or bed time) to get here."
Now I long for those nights where she fell asleep breastfeeding. I wish I had been able to breast feed her longer.
I was so worried about getting her on a schedule before daddy came home I was in auto pilot all day. I'm not saying I didn't make some good memories during that time.. but I should have slowed down.
Now She doesn't want to be held or carried, she feeds herself, and she tells me "no". Is this a normal way to feel? Do any other mothers out there feel like you wished your baby's infant days away?


Asked by Anon344 at 11:51 PM on Feb. 5, 2011 in General Parenting

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Answers (6)
  • Awww !!! I know how you feel. I have a 4 year old who is more than a handful so he actually took more of my time than my little girl. I remember always whispering to her that I was sorry for not hanging out with her and that we would the next day. The next thing I knew,she grew her first tooth and I just burst into tears cos I'd been soooo busy with stupid chores that I pretty much missed my baby's first few months.

    All I can say is, enjoy the days you have now and let go of the ones that are past....

    Answer by whiskey80 at 1:43 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • I miss my little guy as a baby, I think thats normal for every mom. But I do embrace and enjoy his independence. Sometimes I wish he needed me more, since he's 5 and dressing himself, bathing himself, even preparing his own meals now (cereal, jelly sandwiches, simple things). But then I think about how exciting it is for him to be able to pour his own milk, he's so darn proud of himself. And as much as I miss my baby, I can't help but smile at his accomplishments. I do remember that feeling of man I can't wait till he walks, or it'll be nice when he can get his own clothes... and now those stages are here and I think on the one hand, where's my baby... and on the other, man I can't wait till he's in school all day! lol Don't worry too much, every mom misses that nursing, they need you for everything stage. But it helps to find comfort in their current accomplishments as well.

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 11:57 PM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I will say, i know how you feel, my son used to fall asleep beside me and id stare into his precious little face and what his fingers twitch and him give a grin or a giggle from a good dream. I love him very much and though i miss those days that just makes me push harder for me to stay grounded now and take in every second with him and any time i start back into rush mode i say slow down, remember how i feel about him being a baby? and that does slow me down again. My baby is getting so big, being two already, and im just even more now loving the fact that he can run up to me and put his arms around my neck and squeeze and kiss me. Just remember dont get too wrapped up being sad that you missed his baby days because then later youll realize omg i was so busy missing those days that now i miss the other ones too! Its ok, i know how you feel. you have my support. Good luck and keep your chin up!

    Answer by Bobbysgurl at 12:14 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • sure my son is 5. when they are toddlers they can drive you up the wall but i still miss him needing me more!

    Answer by AmaliaD at 10:08 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • She is still very young and needs you more than anything. Enjoy each stage for what it is. There are still SO many wonderful experiences ahead! hug

    Answer by elizabr at 11:41 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • This happens to a lot of mothers, it is totally normal, all I can advice is now that you are aware how quickly time flies, make the rest of her life a happy memories, slow down and take it all in, you still got time.......

    Answer by older at 5:23 PM on Feb. 6, 2011