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abuse or not abuse how so I get out of this

I ve been with my partner for 6 years we have 2 kids and when we first met it was peaches and cream I loved spending time with him we loved each other very much it was a fairytale . He used to tell me stories about his old classmates but he would usually bring up one guy in particular this guy was dumb and he did a lot of dumb things.

One day I'm sitting at the table talking and I forget what were talking about and out of nowhere he tells me that I remind him of his dumb friend I was stunned I couldn't believe that came out his mouth that really hurt me. That was the first time it happened now it like a regular thing I hear it all the time your dumb you cant do nothing by your self you cant cook you cant drive he says I'm a dumb ass he tells me stupid is what stupid does he call s me smart one as a joke he tells me I'm fat I gained 60 pounds with my first daughter.

He tells me I need to get a job I'm not independent I have a job I am only able to work one day out of the week I have no one to watch my kids + we live out of town and we only have one car he uses that car to go to work ??? he work 6am-5pm he wont let me work nights?

I Feel crazy sometimes he could be really caring person and sweet and then he does this the person that I was before I'm not today I feel like Ive been weakened by him sometimes I feel dumb and ugly I second guess myself now. I'm ready to go !!!! I only make 50 a weak I have no money no sitter human services are dicks I don't know what my first steps should be what did you do ???????//

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:55 AM on Feb. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • That is verbal abuse and I would try and talk to him on how it affects you when he says those things. If he won't quit kick his sorry as out

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:58 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • I am sorry. Try telling him how this affects you.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 1:00 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • packed up and left while he was at work had a family member come pick me up...i know every state has an aboused womens shelter where you can bring your kids....all though its not physically it is still abuse

    Answer by suhweetness at 1:00 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • ~*HUGS*~... first of all I truly hope with my heart you have a support network... friends, family, church, school, anyhting... even social networking if need be!!!

    I can't give dvice, other than if there is abuse seek help! all phone books have a front section as to locl aspects like WEAVE ... but if he's just asking you to gt a job, I wouldn't know how to react... I have a different kind of husband and situation and most I could offer is that if you needed to vent I have a pretty good ear that wouldn't hate you for your choices in life? We all make choices, and if others honestly had the answers they wouldn't need help themselves

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 1:00 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • I'll tell you from first hand need to find a friend or family member to stay with...that's mental abuse and in my opinion can be MUCH more damaging that physical abuse. he will begin to make you think that you're not good enough for anyone else...

    by you coming here, you obviously see that there is a problem. You need to say a prayer or do whatever you do, and get is money, it's not worth your happiness....that should NEVER be a reason to stay with someone abusive...Kids aren't a reason either. good luck and hugs to you. Im so sorry for what you're going through :(

    Answer by calliesmommie at 1:00 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • That is emotional abuse and he sounds like a complete ASSHOLE and I would get the hell out of there. You don't say those things to someone you love, and you should love yourself enough to realize that there are better men out there who won't treat you like shit. Start looking for a place to live, either on your own or with friends and relatives. You also need to find a way to pay for a place to live either by finding a babysitter or getting a job at a place that includes childcare. YMCAs offer that or daycares probably do too. Good luck!

    Answer by Ash9724 at 1:01 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • thank you for all your answers I appreciate them I'm going to take all your advice and put it into consideration I love the YMCA idea I never thought of that....... i also never thought how this can affect my kids id be dammed if someone treated my daughters this way

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:23 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

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