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he tells me im stupid

I ve been with my partner for 6 years we have 2 kids and when we first met it was peaches and cream I loved spending time with him we loved each other very much it was a fairytale . He used to tell me stories about his old classmates but he would usually bring up one guy in particular this guy was dumb and he did a lot of dumb things.

One day I'm sitting at the table talking and I forget what were talking about and out of nowhere he tells me that I remind him of his dumb friend I was stunned I couldn't believe that came out his mouth that really hurt me. That was the first time it happened now it like a regular thing I hear it all the time your dumb you cant do nothing by your self you cant cook you cant drive he says I'm a dumb ass he tells me stupid is what stupid does he call s me smart one as a joke he tells me I'm fat I gained 60 pounds with my first daughter.

He tells me I need to get a job I'm not independent I have a job I am only able to work one day out of the week I have no one to watch my kids + we live out of town and we only have one car he uses that car to go to work ??? he work 6am-5pm he wont let me work nights?

I Feel crazy sometimes he could be really caring person and sweet and then he does this the person that I was before I'm not today I feel like Ive been weakened by him sometimes I feel dumb and ugly I second guess myself now. I'm ready to go !!!! I only make 50 a weak I have no money no sitter human services are dicks I don't know what my first steps should be what did you do ???????

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:58 AM on Feb. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • That is verbal abuse and I would try and talk to him on how it affects you when he says those things. If he won't quit kick his sorry as out
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:59 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • The only thing I can say is that you can not let him treat you this way, specially in front of your kids.
    Supervane

    Answer by Supervane at 1:01 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • leave...i would never tolerate someone who didnt respect me as their equal...go to your local public assistance office and they can help you get foodstamps, medicaid for your children, housing assistance, and even utility assistance. go to the child support office and file for child support.....you can do this alone.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 1:01 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • get out now, while you still can! This will not stop, it will escalate. You still get angry, so you still have your self esteem, get out before he destroys that! For your kid´s sake, get out!
    Belovedmoonpixi

    Answer by Belovedmoonpixi at 1:04 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • He sounds like a complete and utter control freak. He obviously has some issues. He thinks he can under mind you by trying to degrade you and put you down. There is no reason why you should not be able to work nights. Try your best to take control of the situation by telling HIM...I (you) will not tolerate being degraded and put down (say it in a firm voice) let him know you mean it.If he doesn't change his ways...he never will and you don't need him degrading you in front of your children. I would pack my stuff and leave in that one car to a friends home or your parents. A safe place. Good luck & Best wishes
    justalady774

    Answer by justalady774 at 1:05 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • he does not want you to work nights?? you should put out applications for a night job, hopefully you get a job. Go to work !! having a job will give you more independence and will boost your self esteem. If he still treats you badly, you will have money saved up so you can plan an exit strategy. this is an unhealthy environment for the kids.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 1:13 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • It's not verbal abuse if it is true. I would say you are dumb if you were my partner just based on your lack of punctuation. I am not doing it meanly...just honest. My poor DH gets it from me all the time. I usually state it as "I wish you could handle these bills because they are stressing me out" instead of a flat out "you are stupid".
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • I don't give a damn about punctuation I'm not at school this is not an essay who the fuck do you think you ! are? does it make you feel good to be on here talking shit ? does that complete your day ? Is this how you get you cheep thrills? wtf is wrong with people? I feel sorry for you husband he gonna leave you like I'm gonna leave mines to the left.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:13 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • have you tried talking to him? if he still does it them maybe you should do couples therapy or separate for a while
    LizzieAnnesMom

    Answer by LizzieAnnesMom at 10:16 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • You know Lizzy I never thought about going to therapy but I have talked to him about his behavior and how it effects me and he still remains to talk to me this way........he told me once that his step father used to talk to his mother rudely I don't want to make excuses for him but that might have something to do with his behavior maybe...............I think separation might be good for us for my kids
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:31 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

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