Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

DH's dad asked if he could come get DD sometime and surprise DH's mom with DD and that she would stay the night.

He doesn't pay attention to what DD does and he gives her stuff to eat she doesn't need. I have turned around before and he was giving her coke and chips. She doesn't get a lot of sweet stuff or other types of junk food and I worry about what she will get when she is there. I know his mom, when she is in the room will make sure, but he doesn't listen to her. I don't want to take the chance away from his mom because DD has stayed at my parents a few times, but they see her ALL of the time and they are 15 minutes away. DH's dad and his mom have been divorced since DH was one, so about 26 years but have been living together again for the past 2 years. DD doesn't really care for DH's dad but doesn't mind his mom. Neither of them have spent a mass amount of time with her and they only live 45 minutes away.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:45 PM on Nov. 16, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • The plan to take her yourself and only have a day visit is MUCH more reasonable. ... that is IF you want to do it at all - you are under NO obligation to go to THEIR house. They would do better to come visit your daughter at YOUR house, in her home. We are new grandparents, and we fully expect that when we see our granddaughter, it will be a case of us going THERE. Grandparents can be a part of a child's life best by doing what is best for the child, and not insisting on what is most convenient for them. Best wishes !!

    Answer by waldorfmom at 9:47 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • This would be a fine plan IF YOU are there, too. The entire night, preferably in the bed with her.
    Many schools of thought consider that a child younger than 7 should not spend the night away from parents. I know society is full of crazy practices and people will tell you it's not unusual. ... but a lot of usual stuff is NOT actually okay for the kids who have to go through it. Just tell him that you read a child development book (I could give you a few titles) that said your child needs to be with you.
    Every single day is extremely important for a child, her experiences make deep impressions on her. They shape her personality. So this is not to be treated lightly.

    Answer by waldorfmom at 5:51 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • What if we took her up there for the day and they could spend the day with her? That way they got some alone time with her and it would be during the day and they could play and have fun? They just moved into a small house and I don't even know where she would sleep. She's only 17 months. I know I let her stay at my parents and she did great but she knows them so well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:58 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • Talk to your DH about it and see how he feels. These are his parents and I'm sure he'd like for his parents to be a part of her life. Your DD probably doesn't care for them too much right now becdause she doesn't see them and hasn't had a chance to get a bond with them. Relax a little bit and don't stress to much. I don't know how old your DD is but I'm sure one night of some soda and candy and chips isn't going to kill her. Most grandparents spoil their grandchildren with things that the parents would never give them. My mother insists on letting my almost 3 yr old drink soda from her cup once in a while. I don't give it to my son but it's no reason to stress out over it because it happens so rarely.

    Answer by bubblycute at 5:58 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • I would say a big fat no to that. I see no problem if you are there too, but I think even a toddler is too young to spend time away from parents for an extended time, unless there's a really good reason.

    Answer by NavyWife1981 at 9:03 PM on Nov. 16, 2008