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2 Bumps

When should I have started retracting my son's foreskin? adult content

I've tried every now and then since my son was about 2, to retract it. I heard so many moms warn me not to do it too early...and I've done all I know how. Now my son is 5, and neither myself nor my DH can get it retracted. My husband is pissed at me, because he says if I had started doing it while DS was a baby, it wouldn't be a problem now. My son has been ccomplaining that his penis hurts on the my DH thinks he needs to be circumsized. He is so upset with me...and I feel horrible because apparently I didn't do what's best for our son. But many people I talked to and papers I read said to NEVER retract a baby's foreskin. I thought I was doing the right thing...


Asked by brandyj at 2:11 AM on Feb. 6, 2011 in Kids' Health

Level 21 (10,228 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • It doesn't need to be retracted. It will retract on it's own when it's ready. It stays clean because it hasn't yet separated from the penis. This is the reason that it hasn't retracted yet. I'm from a country where hardly anyone is circed and this is normal for a 5 yo so don't start worrying yet and don't force it to retract.

    Answer by potterpeaches at 2:44 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • I gotta the heck is he CLEAN if it hasn't been retracted? I don't get how that works. Anyway, here is a bump. Hope he is ok..that's a serious issue.

    Answer by -AJ at 2:22 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Never can cause problems if you do. Just leave it. It can take up to 7 yrs old for the foreskin to be fully retractable!

    Answer by MrsMWF at 10:05 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • I have only heard (repeatedly!) that you should *never* do it.
    He will do it when it's Time... whatever that means. ?
    Have you talked with the pediatrician?

    So why didn't you circ earlier?
    Why is your husband angry?
    You made this decision together, right?
    And you are doing what you feel is best, right?
    Sounds like his making you feel badly would be very unfair.


    Answer by doulala at 2:15 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • AJ.. the best way I can explain it is that since I still give my son tub baths, the water gets up inside the foreskin and cleans it, much the same way as it gets up inside our girl parts and cleans us.

    Doulala... yes, it does feel unfair to be blamed, and I told him so. But my husband often blames me when something is going on with the kids that he doesn't like, because I am a SAHM and since I have them all day, I should be in control of everything. I think part of the reason my DH is mad is because our son will have to be circumsized (in his far from expert opinion), and my DH is under the impression that will be done without anesthetic like with newborns. He hates the thought of our son do I.

    I'm taking him to the pediatrician first thing Monday, and we'll see from there. I just feel so guilty right now!

    Comment by brandyj (original poster) at 2:41 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Tell your husband that:
    you love your son as does he.
    You are both trying to make good decisions and work things out.
    That you will talk to the pedi, a urologist, medical professionals and hear their opinion.
    Remember why he's intact, remember your original reasoning.
    Circing isn't normal~ boys are born intact for a reason.


    Answer by doulala at 2:49 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Thanks doulala :) I needed some encouragement. My husband is very big on manhood and being "normal" in that I think he feels that I don't know what I'm talking about and can't understand. He has apologized, albeit a little begrudgingly, because I told him I was doing what I was told was best for our son, and that he was being unfair. I think my husband is terrified at the prospect of our son having to endure circumcision at 5 yrs old...and that's why he has an attitude.
    Hopefully the pediatrician will tell me its ok, and won't try to retract. I doubt it...he's been a pediatrician for 30 years.

    oh, and ps, I think I may know what is causing the pain for my son. I decided to run him a clear bath with no soap tonight, to see if it would help, and as I filled the tub, my son used the toilet. I turned around to see him resting his penis on the rim of the toilet ( the one UNDER the seat). Some bad germs there...

    Comment by brandyj (original poster) at 3:05 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • eww.

    Well more HUGS!
    Hope this gets cleared up asap.

    Answer by doulala at 3:25 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • They wouldn't circumcise without a local anaesthetic . . Don't worry, keep the drs appointment and follow the advice given

    Answer by janet116 at 3:41 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • I don't have boys, so I know nothing about this but why did your husband think it should only be up to you to do it? He should be half responsible for taking care of your son.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

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