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Moms with Daughters: Got a Question about the facts of life

Hello ladies,
I have had what I could of a talk with my 11 year old daughter. (she is emotionally at the level of a 4-5 year old)... Regardless of her actual age vs her virtual age, her body is making the changes.

Lately she's been complaining on what sounds to me like cramps. It has been a very long time since I had my first period (I still swear to this day it was when I was 10--so at most 20 years).

My husband suggested we go buy pads for her (just in case).. and I know I have to make that talk with her again.

So I was wondering....

1. Has your child started her cycle yet and if so at what age.
2. Was it difficult for you, was there anxiety involved or was it easy for you to have that talk.
3. How would you approach the situation yourself... What would you say and how would you say it.
4. Did it all turn out okay on your end.

The reason I ask is cause, I don't know exactly how to approach it. I have no idea what to say, what to do...

I mean, I think my husband's suggestion of putting a maxi pad in her backpack 'just in case' is a good idea.

Some of what I tried to discuss with her last year did stick because she expressed to me her anxiety over having a male teacher and what if 'it' happens.

I just well. ... I'm not sure, I'm probably more nervous/apprehensive about the whole thing because as much as she's a pain in my booty at times... I do very much care for and love he.

I chose her more than one time..

1. When I got pregnant with her my EX husband wanted me to "get rid of it", and I said hells to the no.. that's not how I roll
2. When I sent her to live with my folks and sister for her safety and in that process I got my divorce and we were both free.

Anyways, I've been dozing on and off while writing out this question...and I prolly left some stuff out, so my most sincere apologies.

But the nit and gritty of it is this:

How did you handle your daughter going through puberty, how did you broach the subject, did you feel like she got the message. If you had the slightest doubt... did you figure, she'd figured it out by herself..

Just a little mom to mom advice.

 
Randomosity2

Asked by Randomosity2 at 2:14 AM on Feb. 6, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 10 (443 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Maxi pads are sorta overkill! You want her to be able to wear the pad comfortably, and don't want it to show through her pants. Get one of the thin pads for her, it seems like they have a junior size. Her flow won't be too heavy the first few months, and if she get the pads that are in little plastic wrappers they will stay much more sanitary in her back pack, and it won't be so embarrassing if one happens to fall out. The thing to remember mom is that this is a natural passage of life, make sure that she doesn't catch your anxiety, because every thing that is happening to her body has happened to every woman's body for many,many years. Your calm acceptance of this fact can make this a much easier experience for both of you. My oldest daughter was at Lake Tahoe with her dad and his buddies when she started! I was 600 miles away! Thank God, my good friend Diane was there to help her!
    MamaAlice54

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 4:18 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • My little one is too young yet but I do remember how it was for me my mom was also very uncomfortable about talking about it so she gave me a book that explained it, even with that I wished she had overcome that because it would have been useful information for me to know stuff like how often check myself and how to properly wear the pads and what to expect so even if its hard for you try to talk to her about it like is not a big deal you have no idea how many embarrassing moments could I had avoid if she had just talk to me.
    gou18

    Answer by gou18 at 2:29 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • My daughter started through puberty at 8 years old, and started her period 3 months after she turned 10. We had gone camping for the weekend, (of course), and she came out of the potty and told me she had started. I had gone over the mechanics of it when she was about 9, so she wasn't scared when she saw the blood. So we got in the car and had to drive 10 miles to the nearest little store and get her some pads! We had made up a little kit at home, so she already had everything, except we forgot to get some extra panties! Which I recommend for any preparation that is made. They will have accidents and they will need extra panties, I just folded them really small and put them in a little fabric pouch I had, so she could carry them to school with her. what was funny was that my granddaughter is 3 years younger, and she bought some pads and started carrying them with her when she was 9 years old! Not maxi pads, but teen pads!
    MamaAlice54

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 4:09 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • My daughter started last year when she was 11. She gets cramps a lot too. I give her tylenol or pamprin believe it or not it helps. It was very easy talking to my daughter about it. WE have always had an open relationship and I sucked it up and got over the being uncomfortable thing because the truth was more important.
    JuJubean1979

    Answer by JuJubean1979 at 4:04 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • My DD and I had the talk. They also get it in school as part of health in 5th grade, at least in our town in NJ. My daughter came home with the gift bag of a sanitary napkin, deoderant, and pamphlets. I told her if she ever has any questions to ask me. Then a year later we were out to dinner for my son's birthday. As we were getting the check, she was sitting there and all of a sudden she started crying. I asked her what was the matter. She said she didn't know. Then the light went off in my head. I took her to the bathroom and asked her. She had just gotten her period. She is now very open with it. She says she is having a visit from Aunt Flo when it arrives. She is very comfortable even with my husband and son.
    robinkane

    Answer by robinkane at 7:28 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • My dd was 11 when she first got her period. I was already way before that (just in case) with pads. She had been keeping a pad just in case in her backpack and locker for 2 yrs. I had the talk with her when she was 9 and got books I thought appropriate from our library. I have checked them out many times since then and we have gone over things in more detail each time. Good luck.
    cat4458

    Answer by cat4458 at 8:25 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

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