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Will my daughter hate me?

frustratedI been getting so frustrated at my 2 yr old daughter lately. She is fighting me on EVERYTHING. From kicking me in the mouth when I lean over to change her diaper, kicking when I try to put her shoes on, she actually gave me a nose bleed when I ws trying to get her shirt on and she flung her head back and caught me right in the nose. I put her down, and the minute I turn my head to pick up the diaper bag, she is Speedy Gonzaullas. Andale! Andale! Anyway, today i yelled at her in a real loud voice: "Stop it!!! she just looks at me and then continue on what she wsa doing. I went over and I spanked her just once, told her that was wrong, and she need to listen to mama. She had my cat around the neck with her fingers, then I slapped her hand, and put her in her room and took all her toys out of her room. I left her in there for about 7 or 8 min. I do not know what to do, I did take her to the doctors just to make sure there wasn't a reason for her to be hard headed. He said to be patient, and I just had the unfortunate luck of having a kid in the terrible 2 stage, and that she is a little more worse then some children are. I don't want to make her afraid of me. It seem he only time she is relaxed and I have my little girl back, then she gets possessed again and here is round 2.......


Asked by Michigan-Mom74 at 5:31 AM on Feb. 6, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

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This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I suggest developing strategies for when she usually acts up. For example she is probably bored with having to get dressed and makes it more interesting by fussing/kicking. I bet all kids do this at some time. Try having a special small toy she can only have at dressing time. Or give her a choice of what to wear or see if she wants to help you. I sing to my twins when I dress them. They love it. Try to find ways to praise her when she does good. It will go a long way.

    Answer by bjane01 at 12:12 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • You're not alone! Lots of parents feel this exact same way. My son had a terrible two stage when he was about four. It was like he was a completely different child. The only advice I have for you is that you have to be strong and carry on. Let her know that behavior like that will not be tolerated. She won't hate you or be afraid of you for everyday parenting. If you let her get away with behavior like that sometimes and not others, she will not know when you are serious and when you're not.

    Good luck, mama and hang in there! This stage will pass!

    Answer by binkadink at 5:36 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • I agree with the first pp! Over the yrs, there will probably be many times that she doesn't like you - and frankly, if not, then you're probably not doing your job as a mom. (No, you can't have cookies for dinner..., No, you can not have a sleepover with your boyfriend at 14... etc)

    I have the attitude that I love my kids enough to do what's right for them even if they don't like it at the time. I also tell them it's ok to not like me, I don't always like them, either - but I always love them! Now, my kids are teens - I didn't tell them this when they were toddlers and too young to get it, of course. But I did have that philosophy of loving them enough to do what I thought best and teach them right from wrong. They don't hate me, and they say now they understand why they couldn't do things, get away with things, etc and appreciate it.

    gl - hang in there!

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 7:15 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • binkadink hit it on the nose!!

    Answer by 4xsthetrouble at 6:33 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Way to be encouraging rkoloms!! That advice will get her REAL far!!!

    I'll try to add something useful since rkoloms had nothing useful to say.

    Yes, some children can be real challanging. But, as some of the others have said, there will be times when your child will hate you and you know what? That's ok. Most of the time that mean you are doing your job.
    You daughter is staring to assert her independence. Some children are a bit more hard headed about it than others.
    You need to find a form of discipline that works for you. If taking toys away works then do that, if putting her in time out works, do that. I don't think smacking her hands away when she was trying to harm the cat will cause any lasting damage is going to be harmful in the long wrong. In fact, I did a study once and guess what? NO ONE that was spanked as a child believes that it is OK to hit others!!

    Answer by layh41407 at 7:31 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • The most important thing it so be consistent with what ever form of disicpline you choose. It can be rough, but hand in there. Good luck!! And remember, you are not alone.

    Answer by layh41407 at 7:32 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Consistency is the key. Stick to one form of punishment and stick to it. Time outs can be effective and taking away the most important thing to her for an appropriate time can work well. Spanking can make her afraid of you. It did with our kids before I switched to taking away their most treasured thing. GL

    Answer by elizabr at 10:56 AM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • "Well, now she knows that you believe that hitting solves problems"
    stepfather phyically abused me for yrs, I am 36 yrs old now. I also know the hitting doesn't solve problems. But there is a time when u need to fight back. I will tell her this too when she is older when she can tell the difference. The song done by Kenny Rogers called, "Coward of the Country" is a good example.
    Anyway, thanks soooooo much! I felt like shit when I had to do that, and she was in her room I started crying! Especially when I took away her lovie Leo, the one stuffed animal she attached herself since she was 10 months old. This damn stage better end soon cause I think I will be put in a patted room!!

    Comment by Michigan-Mom74 (original poster) at 1:55 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Well, now she knows that you believe that hitting solves problems

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:27 AM on Feb. 6, 2011