Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Is this Fair

Here's the issue I married a man who has been divorced since 2005 and was married for 23 years to her, they both agreed to divorce (not getting alone) well we met and got Married in 2009 and it has been awesom.
So since 2009 I have shown respect to his ex wife by going to his grandchildrens b days and sitting and laughing with her and the phone calls she makes to him since we got together (she never called him when he lived alone) wanting to talk about old times etc. Now they have 2 grown children with big issues..one is a meth user and one a pedifile but I deal with them always calling and begging for cash and the ex.
Now that i'm having a little problem with my lazy 16 year old, we argue at each other all the time it seems but he get on GREAT with my Husband he just gives me a hard time about once a week. Now it's a big problem for my husband and he says he's stressed well shit i'm stressed dealing with the ex and his grown ass kids but i'm dealing with it because of him. My husband is giving me the cold shoulder now and if he expects me to kick out a 16 year old I cant it's against the law, he knew i had a son when he married me. I try to put his past family issues in the past especially his ex who still calls for a ride to see her son in prison i say nothing but he can't get over my son's yelling and says he needs space now. I told him if you want to seperate leave but you can't come back i will still have my son and I don't go backwards if you want to go just go I won't beg you to stay....What do you think I wont pick him over my son....

Answer Question
 
dusty1962

Asked by dusty1962 at 12:39 PM on Feb. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,831 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • No, you do NOT pick him over your son. Your son is acting like a NORMAL TEENAGER. Your ex's GROWN children are losers. A pedofile and a meth user. I think it's time for your husband to GROWUP and stop acting like a kid. Stand by your son. Sit down and talk with your son about how it's disrespectful to yell at you. It is ok for him to be angry, upset, frustrated, etc but it is better to talk it out with you rather than yell at you. Let him know that you are standing by him. He could be stressed out from the situation with your husband and not sure how to handle it. Do NOT kick him out,kick out the husband instead.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:44 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • How sad that you've stood by him through all of the drama with his family and now that your child is having some issues he's not as supportive. Do whatever you need to do for your son, hopefully your husband will be able to pull it together and give you the support that you need- good luck!!

    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 12:44 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • he shouldnt put you in the position where hes expecting a choice.that is your child and no matter what u will always be there for him.the same as he does for his kids.thats one thing that upsets me about people is them trying to make u make a choice between them and your child.you def. have a right to be upset with the situation ecspeacialy seeing as how u have dealt with all the drama thats come from his kids and ex wife. and what 16 year old doesnt get to where at some point in time they give you problems its something every kid goes through and your husband should realize that.
    kaylamarie1987

    Answer by kaylamarie1987 at 12:48 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • If he does not understand he should kick rocks you are understanding of all of his issues why can't the same kindness be given back? GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:52 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • When you marry a person with children (or have children together), you can expect to deal with life issues with them - we are all human. He should stand by you and help support both you and your son through this - not because you have been doing so for him, but because you are married and that's what a loving married couple does.

    Have you talked (calmly) to him about the situation, and NOT brought up his kids/issues while doing so? Have you asked for his help (maybe some ideas) on how to help your son? It doesn't sound like you are being a team, which is desperately needed in a situation like this.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 1:14 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN