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what to do?

I have been with my SO for 6 years. We have two children together. We had our first child when we were 16 and 17. We had our second when we were 19 and 20. My SO cheated on me when our first child was 5mths. with my sister. I forgave him. I don't know why. We got pregnant with our second child and he cheated on me when I was 4mths. And what do ya know I take him back again. I haven't been able to get over it. I feel like I am nothing to him. Like last night I went out with girls for girls night. He offered to pick us up. But he was just being so mean to me. We fought until 3 this am cause he said he was gonna leave. He has this habbit when he gets mad he leaves and then come back and acts like nothing happend. I hate when he does this and I try to stop him from leaving. I know we have so many issues and I don't know if we can ever fix them. I am just worried that he will take my kids from me. I love them with all I have and never want someone to take them. I don't work full time and he does. I don't have a car cause its in his name even though we both pay all the bills. I am just so stressed out. I wish he would talk to me but he won't he will just tell me I am bitching. I know I have my issues and its not just him doing wrong there are plenty of things that I don't do right. I just don't know where to go with this whole thing. Advice please.

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mommyof2_1989

Asked by mommyof2_1989 at 12:55 PM on Feb. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (347 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • well first thing that comes to my head is...your scared to be lonely and left alone with your kids. I think if you both seperated, you would know that you get the kids and have to take full responsibility for them and that scares you so since he helps with the money issues, your safe as long as you stay together no matter how he treats you.

    on the other hand, he walks out and leaves so things dont get worse to a point where he's stuck and so he doesnt have to deal with it. He's avoiding the situation, leaving you mad and that isnt healthy. you two basically have a unhealthy relationship but like in everyone's relationship, when things are good, things are great. im not telling you to leave or anything but something needs to be considered and done.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 1:07 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • and just remember the meaning to his actions are this..if he cheats on you, which he did, he will have issues and be paranoid when your away from him because when he cheated on you, he will be insecure about himeself and think you are cheating on him. BECAUSE he cheated on you. make sense?
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 1:11 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • You don't leave when you're upset, period. People who love each other and want to have a successful marriage work on their issues together. Truthfully, I'd leave. He's cheated on you twice (once with your sister!!), he's already shown you that he's not 100% comitted to the relationship.

    He WON'T get the kids from you - the courts are very "mother centric" and there are lots of woman like yourself (no car, little/no income) that get custody every day. It's not that unusual. Leave, and find someone who is going to be a partner to you.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 1:20 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • The fact that he cheated on you twice, and once being your own sister shows his lack of commitment and respect he has for you and the relationship. Trust issues will always be questioned because of this. It has to be so hard for you, as I can only imagine. Only you will know what is best for you. If you are not happy, then don't stay in this relationship. If you love him and want things to work, try counseling. Do you have family or someone's help if you wanted to leave? I agree with Scuba - and I do not think he will be able to take the kids from you. I hope everything works out.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 1:36 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • All I can say is .."I'm sorry!" I hope you do the right thing nd good luck...
    whiskey80

    Answer by whiskey80 at 2:15 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • i am sorry:( My suggestion is to get a FT job and put money away...prepare yourself to leave..you deserve better....I can relate!
    hill2

    Answer by hill2 at 2:19 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Let him go, u deserve better than that no matter what your faults are. You'll be better off and you can do it!
    pswiley

    Answer by pswiley at 2:26 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Sorry, but you'd need a time machine to fix this situation...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

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