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6 Bumps

How would you deal ...

Ladies, I am so frustrated... My husband is a very hard worker and I am grateful for that!!! The problem is he works so many hours, some times 7 days a week. He works anywhere from 14 - 16 hours a day... I feel like I am single... my kids miss him too (they are teens). It is very lonely... I have spoke to him numerous times about this...
The killer part is that he is salary... so anything over 40 hours is not paid time.
We have be married for 19 years.

Answer Question
 
groovyg123

Asked by groovyg123 at 1:24 PM on Feb. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • My husband does the same thing, but he's a fulltime student in a nursing program where we live. I feel like i'm single as well...cause even when he's around he's not "here"...he's working on homework of some sort. It's very lonely to lead this kind of life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • I feel the same way... When he is here, his workers are calling him with problems... his cell is going off, blackberry (s) yes 2 are getting emails, work orders and the other stuff.
    I feel like I am last on the list... I just don't know how to get thru to him.
    groovyg123

    Comment by groovyg123 (original poster) at 1:32 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Sorry, i'm the anon above. I haven't figured it out either.....I beg him to spend more time, or just be present when he is here.
    Do you think you guys would make it without him taking calls and whatnot when he's home and keeping it to 40hours/wk?
    Mine just doesn't get it, and i'm afraid he never will. He's one of those all or nothing types....but i'm the total opposite. I don't know what to do.
    CABlonde

    Answer by CABlonde at 1:38 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Look at the bright side, you get free time with yourself and no hassle's with money.

    sexyfancyface

    Answer by sexyfancyface at 1:38 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Wish I had tons of money to spend... he is salary so he only gets paid for 40 hours not matter how much he works!!!
    Yes I enjoy free time... but there is a limit until you start to feel lonely.
    groovyg123

    Comment by groovyg123 (original poster) at 1:41 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • can he download yahoo messenger so if you have a computer, you can talk to him on his phone on yahoo messenger? or go on facebook and get accounts there and send emails when he has a break? figure soemthing out over the internet if he has internet on his phone
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 1:43 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • There is definitely a limit to "free time". I told my husband I married him because I wanted to be with him/spend time with him.....not so I could be raising children alone.
    CABlonde

    Answer by CABlonde at 1:43 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • I think you would have to force yourself to get a busy social life so you dont notice his abscence so much. Im trying to do that and I think it might work for you. Fill in as much of your time with stuff....volunteer work,drinks with friends,spinning classes,dance lessons....whatever you can come up with.

    whiskey80

    Answer by whiskey80 at 2:08 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Is he "required" to work this much or does he just have a hard time letting work go and being at home? My husband has been salaried as long as we've been married and early on he was a major workaholic. I know most corporations now are not pusing the "normal" 9 to 5 workday, they are asking for something more like 8 to 5:30, but I just had to tell my husband (after 5 years when we had our first child) that he needed to be home when he was home and that he needed to prioritize better during work hours to make that happen.
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 2:48 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • can speak to husband see if he would still have a job if he spent less hours there
    maybe he feels or knows that job would be on the line if he did not put in these hours
    times are tough, he could be worried about that, and it could be the fact that he may be looked over if he did less
    do not know anyone that feels secure in their position
    so many out of work, TRY to seek comfort in this fact that he is working (yes a lot) but could be out of work

    also, you may feel single, but I am single and would be so happy to have a loving man supporting me and my child, even if he was working tons and not around alot
    would love to have your problem, does not mean you do not have one, but scomfort in what you do have, not what you do not

    hope this helps a bit?
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 3:27 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

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