Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

How can I tell them? Please help me.

Please PLEASE give me your opinion on this. We live in another country with my family, my husband and our LO. Whenever I am on Skype, I talk to my parents mostly cause they miss the LO, I've never gotten along with them and I am not close to them. When something happens, when the l.o. cries or whines a bit or even complains for one second, or 1 minute or more, they start the lecture: Give her more toys, she can't just stand there. Do this. Do that. What kind of a mother are you, letting her cry. I try to ignore them and keep on with what I know because I KNOW my daughter and it's none of the things they say. If she continues on with a bit more of crying, they start yelling at me. Do this, do that, don't do this, how can you let her cry, blah blah. In the end, I can't deal with their screaming AND my l.o. and I just hang up on them on Skype. Now, the thing is, if they would be calm like I am and not panic when l.o. cries, I would handle it and in 1-5 mins, everything would be fine. I am sick and tired of them doing this (and crying is not the only thing they are doing it with, they seem to have an opinion about everything I do when it comes to my child) and I want to tell them that if they don't quit this cr@p, I don't want to talk to them on Skype anymore, as they are bringing me down and making me depressed. How should I tell them? Part of me feels guilty cause they miss the l.o. so much but do I really deserve this? I can't stand their controlling attitude any longer. What would you do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:30 PM on Feb. 6, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • I would just tell them that you have the situation under control but when you need some help or advice, you'll ask.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 1:32 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • i would stay where you are and not move closer to them.

    well it is the computer...i guess you could say that it "crashes" once in a while or that a certain day didnt work out for you to do Skype. there are plenty of excuses, just pick one until they get the hint that maybe once a month is all they need to talk on Skype. you have your own life, live it and control it. remember it is only the computer, they cant come to your house and control you.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 1:38 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • My parents are the exact same way, in fact when i was pregnant with my son they refused to talk to be or be apart of the pregnancy for 8 months in. Im never doing anything right in their eyes as a mother, i can tell you right now its always something with them. This is how i deal with it. First of all, i never use my child to get back at them. Im not saying you are what im saying is big picture here, i didnt want my child coming back to me later on saying why did you do this mommy, why wont you let me see them? I basically suck it up, i told my parents once. I am the mother, I am raising my child. I respect your views but you need to be more supportive. If you arent i wont listen to what you have to say at all you can still see your grandson anytime you want but do you want your grandson seeing his grandma like that? That did get to her and they did chill out alittle. Now they make suggestions but never downright critize. GL.
    Bobbysgurl

    Answer by Bobbysgurl at 1:41 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Send them a copy of this.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 1:58 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • I'm with Bobbysgurl... My grandparents were welcome in our home but I was not allowed to be alone with them (which I didn't know until I was MUCH older). They were both alcoholics. My grandpa was just mellow and would drink manhattan type drinks. My grandmother on the other hand was verbally abusive to him and my mom (her daughter). At the age of about 6 (and I remember the incident) they were going to take me to their mountain house to go skiiing for a weekend and as my grandfather was loading my stuff in the trunk my grandmother laid into him about how he was doing it wrong and my mom yanked me out of the car and told them I wasn't going. After that they were welcome at our house but I wasn't allowed to go anywhere with them alone. My folks alerted my school too that if my grandparents came to "pick me up" that I was not allowed to leave and that they should call my mom and the cops (attempted kidnapping).
    terpmama

    Answer by terpmama at 3:00 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • "gotta-go-bye"
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:39 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • doesn't skype have an off button? oops, lost the connection! thats what i would do to my mother, b/c shes a freaking space cadet! lol
    mama2bof2

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 8:44 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • They're in another country!! Don't let them get to you! You're doing the right thing by hanging up. If they miss the baby, send them pics and be done with it.
    Proverbs_31

    Answer by Proverbs_31 at 2:42 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN