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i think he might not be that into me after 4 years and 3 kids later.... i know we may have rushed things lol!!

i desperetly need some one to talk to besides the kids and our dog... well my so called man is making me so stressed and confused okay first of all he stays in our room all day he doesn't even try getting a job or even take out the trash i love him so much but it's like he's depressed or justa jerk he gets to do whatever he wants well i have to stay home withour kids he thinks i'm crazy and being a nag when i ask him to do something for me but he is so nice to everyone else and holds doors open for them( i guess he respects everyone else more that the mother of his beautiful kids) i just need some advise is it me or what ... if he really cared he'd be helping me right i try my best to do things without him while he's making plans with his mother to go out for tha night cause he needs a break and does he ever ask me .... no he just excludes me out of everything .. i feel so sick to my stomach i no i don't need him but i need someone to help wiht the kids we planned casue remember we were so inlove and rushed to things..haha... what am i spose to do??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Feb. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I'm in the same situation. GL mama xoxoxoxoxo
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Counseling
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:47 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • if talken to him doesnt help then theres something wrong. Eitehr hes depressed or hes no more into it or he just doesnt see hins life going anywhere. He should be going out looking for a job and he should help you around the house. You need some off time too!
    LittleBirdFly

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 1:54 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • If he isn't helping you is there anyone else you know who would be happy to help you for the moment?
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 1:59 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Been there,hon. You NEED to get a friend even if it's only for venting purposes . If you try and include another adult in your life in whatever capacity, you wnt feel so bad about his lack of help and attention. Good Luck with that.

    P.S. You can add me as your friend here in the Cafe and we can talk about WHATEVER you want.....
    whiskey80

    Answer by whiskey80 at 2:01 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • It doesn't sound like he's helping now, and he doesn't sound "in to" you at all. I'd leave, why stay in a marriage where you're not respected or treated like you're loved?
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 2:05 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Have you ever seen laugh your way to a better marriage, search it on YouTube. First I would say ask him to do what you want more then once. If you want him to open the door for you then tell him you really like it when he does and it makes you feel special. I heard on dr Phil that we teach people how to treat us. So if you just let him sit around all day and take advantage of you then thats what he is gonna do. Make some boundaries and stick to them. Also if you need a break tell him you are going out for a few hours and he is wanting the kids. Then just do it . Tell him he needs to help out more and be specific, tell him if he dosent take out the trash you will only be making dinner for the kids or something like that .you are not his mom or his maid make sure he knows it.
    NaiveDream

    Answer by NaiveDream at 2:31 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Oops meant watching the kids
    NaiveDream

    Answer by NaiveDream at 2:32 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Do the every day motions and including him in them will make the communication open up. Invent something to do as a family and don't let him get out of it. Fun or not makes no difference. Be with each other and make it happen. He may need a little push in the right direction and family outings are a good start. Hope you have success.

    sexyfancyface

    Answer by sexyfancyface at 3:12 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • thanks u guys for all the advise it realy helps i'm so thankful for cafe mom
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:19 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

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