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Am I just wasting my time? Long* need advice!

My husband and I seperated recently, he left Halloween(didn't even take his son trick or treating like he promised. I wasn't totally on board with it and it hurt me to know that he could just walk away without even thinking about me and his son. I didn't talk to him for about a week after he left, he never called and I was still very upset and decieded not to waste my time to call him. When I finally talked to him it had been exactly a week since he left, he came over to get some more of his things. We had an argument and then talked through it and had sex. He still left and told me that this would be good to give us some time to work things out without being around each other ALL the time. Continued in first reply....

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:57 PM on Nov. 16, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Let me just say this.....you don't deserve this kind of treatment. Period. And your child doesn't deserve to be in this kind of a situation. Instead of fighting with him, tell him you are going to move on...and do! I know it's hard....a VERY hard decision to make....but from what you are describing....a good one. Don't give in to his rants and raves and apologies....it all seems like a game to me...or he has some serious problems that HE needs to work on BY HIMSELF. You deserve someone better who will treat you right. Tell him straight up that you are not going to put up with it and that he is free to see his son, but you don't need to be in any kind of relationship with him anymore. That's my best advice. Message me if you ever need to talk. Honest. Peace to you.
    sophiafarris

    Answer by sophiafarris at 7:07 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • I didn't want him to go but let him. This has happened before and it got worse when he left then got a lil better and we got back together. The thing is, the other night I was on the phone with him and we got into a heated discussion and he said some VERY hurtful things. We talked through it and when we were about to hang up he apologized and I made the remark about how it hurt when he said those mean things. He insisted that he wasn't being mean and I was making things out to be worse then they were!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:58 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • CONT...I know he was mean, He made me cry alot and then made fun of me for crying. We decieded not to have sex with anyone else while apart and to work on our relationship. But I haven't heard from him since that night. I've texted and never gotten any kind of reply! Some of the things that were said that night were very hurtful to me and I just couldn't believe HE was the one saying them! We've been married 2 years and together 3. We have a 15 month old son together. He hasn't even called to check on our son!! The last phone call we had ended ok. No harsh words at the hang up. Told each other "I love you", I thought it was going to be ok. He moved to another city 2 hours away with some of his friends and I don't have the time ormoney to just take off to go see him, he has rides to come visit and chooses not to. Also on the phone, he told me that he would rather talk to his friends then me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:59 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • CONT... his words "Fuck a wife, I'd rather have my friends!" He also told me that I was the cause of him leaving, that I was trying to hard to save our marriage! I told him that if I was trying to hard it was because he wasn't trying at all, and he said he knew he wasn't trying, cause he was sick of me trying so hard!! I just don't know what to do!! I love him sooo much! I have for 3 years! I want our marriage to work and he's said he does to, but sometimes I feel like he doesn't love me like he used to. I feel like he hates me sometimes! I don't know why though! Should I just give up? Should I just forget about it? Am I wasting my time on him?? Please help!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:59 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • I'm so sorry you are going through this.

    Yes, you are wasting your time. Kick him to the curb. Tomorrow call a lawyer first thing in the morning and start divorce proceedings.

    This will NOT change or get better even if you get back together. Don't let him back in and do NOT have sex with him if he's the last man on earth.

    Just be glad you know what kind of a mentally abusive idiot he is now. Move on with your life and take care of your baby. You deserve better than this.
    pugpin

    Answer by pugpin at 7:04 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • What a jerk... Sorry.. No wait im not sorry he is a jerk. get a divorce and we all know its hard but move one and find someone that makes you happy. We all deserve it. And if he can leave his kid with no feelings at all then he is a loser... I hope this will work out for you... sorry you have to go through with but in the end it will all work out better.... Good Luck~!
    BallardMomma

    Answer by BallardMomma at 7:57 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • Also if you show him you dont need him or want him he might not like that and get scared.. alot of men are like that.. Dont let his upset you just be happy he didnt take your child....
    BallardMomma

    Answer by BallardMomma at 8:02 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • At least get yourself together financially. Get your money into an account only in your name. If you aren't trained for a job, get some training and start looking around to what is available. Talk to a lawyer. None of this rules out your getting back together, but if you do part for good, you'll have taken some steps for your security and that of your child.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:10 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

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