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Why dosent he want to be intimate / or have sex with me?

I am a new mother of a 4 month old, im back in shape and feeling frisky and my husband never initiates sex or sexual types of intimacy.
We have had sex since the baby, but after me com. plaining but i still need it more often but more intimately . Im starting to think of things, women etc. that may turn me on and keep me preoccupied but deep down i just wish he wanted me . i dont know whats wrong , yes i have asked and hes says nothing . What should i do? We have this argument/ talk almost every week.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:16 PM on Nov. 16, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • A guy seeing a baby come out of your hoo haa is a huge deal. Some get over it faster than others. Maybe he's just having a hard time dealing? Mine didn't want anything to do with me till at least a month later

    Answer by rowansmum at 7:19 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • I can't say I've experienced this. My husband and I have a four and a half month old daugther and our sex life is in excellent shape. I would talk to him. I know you say you've tried, but sit him down one on one and let him know how much it's bothering you and try to talk it out and get to the bottom of it. He could be embarrassed by his reason for not seeming interested....he could be afraid you'll be mad at him....who knows....but if you try and talk it out, he might have some kind of insight. Unfortunately...he's the only one who really knows what's up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • Having a new baby is very stressful. Maybe he's stressed out and this has caused a reduction in his libido. Lack of sleep could also be an issue.

    Could you get someone to take the baby so you two could have a nice romantic dinner and a nice bath with candles and rose pedals? That might spark something.

    Answer by pugpin at 7:23 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • Yea it was hard for my DH to get back into the groove of having sex with me. He was so in shock that a baby came out of me, a 9lb baby at that. then the placenta, yikes! He almost passed out. So i think he was insecure because all of that craziness happened to my sexual organ that maybe he was a little grossed out! Men take the birthing process soo differently. He got over it. Yours will too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • I'm with the other replier... I asked my hubby what it looked like giving birth from his view and his face told the story... lol He told me he'd never ask me to have another baby after seeing that and he didn't... and I had a very very very short labor. If you need it more than he's willing to give it, then if you're comfortable take care of your own needs till he gets his groove back on but never stop trying to excite him (which is hard with a little baby needing constant care). We had a tough time for a while because both of us were always listening for the baby or just when we'd get started she'd cry and I'd have to jump up and tend to her and after so many times, you kinda get tired of wasting the time getting it started only to have to stop.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:28 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

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