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i have two daddys

my dd started calling my SO daddy all by herself and her really dad tells her she cant...she only sees her real dad about once every two three months and she is 4...what do you all think

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suhweetness

Asked by suhweetness at 7:14 PM on Feb. 6, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 16 (2,589 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I think it should be more about what the child feels best doing. My daughter refers to both me and her stepmother who has been around since she was 2 as mom. It's never bothered me, we are both acting as her moms. I feel better knowing she has a close loving bond with the woman who cares for her at her father's house, and think that is more important than a title.
    mandaday

    Answer by mandaday at 7:17 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • One can be daddy and one can be papa or something just as sweet. To me, "daddy" is the one who is raising the child.
    TheMelissaMoody

    Answer by TheMelissaMoody at 7:17 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • She knows who is being her Dad. Let HER decide who to call what.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 7:17 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • yea but her real dad is giving her a hard time about it
    suhweetness

    Comment by suhweetness (original poster) at 7:22 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • This is a sticky situation. Being 3-4 is not old enough to decide. I think maybe calling him daddy John, or whatever his name is would be better than just daddy. Especially if her real dad is involved.

    I don't think we as mothers would like it if it were reversed.
    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 7:22 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • My ex and I decided before our son was born that no one would be called mom/dad other than us. We have been split up for about 10 years now, and we both have been true to our word. She's little, and she's going to call whoever is there all the time dad. Try explaining to her dad if he was around on a regular basis that you would back his decision in not wanting her to call your SO daddy, but right now he is her daddy. (any man can be a father, but only a real man can be a daddy). Maybe it's time to have her call him daddy (and his name) Your SO I mean. It's hard when in a position like this, and I agree with Christine, how would you feel if she called your ex's girlfriend Mom?
    kitchenwitch78

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 7:52 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • I would let it be a decision between her and SO. If dad doesn't like it, then he needs to step-up and be a dad. Once every 2-3 months is not being a dad. If your SO is comfortable with her calling him dad, let it go. My niece has been calling her stepdad, Daddy Justin for about 3 years before her mom and Justin were married. She calls my brother Daddy Steven. My brother has NO problem with it.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 7:54 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • I also wanted to add, sometimes it's easy for us to get so caught up in our lives that we don't look at the bigger picture, are you and your SO going to get married, are you two going to be together until she's 18...you don't want to let her start calling someone daddy who's going to be out of the picture come next year. How long have you been together with your SO, that makes a lot of difference too, have you been together since she's been a baby, honestly if you haven't been together for at least 3 years she shouldn't be calling him daddy at all.
    kitchenwitch78

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 8:13 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • I think if she did it on her own, then it's fine! She's probably a little confused and perhaps calling your SO daddy is a way of making her more comfortable with the situation. I wouldn't ENCOURAGE it -- but wouldn't discourage it either!
    BaileysMom476

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 9:48 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • i have the same situation. My 3yr old son has done the same with my SO and calls his dad by his first name no one encouraged this he just thought since mommy and SO live together thats mommy and daddy and he does spend alot of time with the SO and loves him. I dont encourage it or discourage it. I call my SO by his name to my boys and they choose to call him daddy or by his name. I would allow her to call him what she pleases and feels comfortable with. Thats what i do
    roxygurlie526

    Answer by roxygurlie526 at 11:02 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

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