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3 Bumps

Legal custody arrangements after death of a bio parent. Please respond if you know what you are talking about.

So I have full custody of my children and my ex husband currently has visitation. We provide a stable, safe, and over all superior environment in our home than my ex does. Infact he's not even aloud to take the kids to his house during visits. SO my question is, who gets custody if I die? I assume that even though my husband is their father in every aspect besides biology that my ex might end up with the law on his side by default. I've put together a file of reasons that my children should continue to live with their step dad in the event that something happens to me and I've actually had a talk with my ex and he says he'd sign an order of custodial assignment to my husband if there were such a thing. I think I am going to mock up something semi legal looking that my husband could present in court if it ever came down to it but I have been advised that the only way to assign any custody to my husband is if he were to adopt the kids... my ex doesn't want to give up visitation so he vetoed that idea. Has anyone ever had to consider this? I just want to make sure things are lined up for my family if anything ever happens to me.

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Asked by ashleyaction at 10:01 PM on Feb. 6, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 16 (2,543 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I googled this for you because I have a similar situation. From what I see the answer varies not only from state to state but also from one county to another. If at all possible speak to a lawyer. At the very least write up something and have it notarized. Good luck!

    Answer by treynlisa at 10:09 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • I live in Louisiana and i battled colon cancer about 6 yrs ago. During this time this came up and i had an attorney draw up paper saying my sis gets my kids and that was most i could do he said. My ex has no contact with my kids and hasn't for over ten yrs though. Though on paper we share them and he pays child support through the state (when they catch him). So not sure if this helps. I was also told by someone else you could draw up your own paper have two people sign and get it notarized but not sure how accurate? GL!

    Answer by harris4 at 10:11 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Well, i think this is something that should be answered by a lawyer because it really depends on the state you live in and your personal history. If the courts wont even allow him to take them to his house for visits I assume they are already aware of any dangerous situations for your children and will take that into very serious consideration Im sure. Good luck!

    Answer by Bobbysgurl at 10:18 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • I am going though this right now. I would suggest that you have your husband adopt your children. the father may fight it but it will be worth it, good luck!

    Answer by r00j04j08 at 10:20 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • Read a similar situation here

    Bottom line is "that any person involved in this type of situation must consult with an attorney who specializes in family law in their particular jurisdiction." 



    Answer by musicmom08 at 10:21 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • have hubby adopt them. he still can have visits too. I am going though this right now.

    Answer by r00j04j08 at 10:21 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • I would think that if you and the bio father can have a lawyer create a document stating that you both want your husband to raise the children, in the event of that you cannot, and both sign, that should make it pretty clear. A specialist in family law should help you!

    Answer by Hazelnutkin at 10:25 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • You need to see an atty

    Answer by Proverbs_31 at 11:19 PM on Feb. 6, 2011

  • You definitely need to establish guardianship with a lawyer

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:45 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

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