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How do you get over your SO cheating. It happened in Oct 2007 but I just found out about it July 2008 and it was with a friend of mine me and my husband worked with. We are no longer at that job so not seeing her helps alot. But I still have trouble sometimes. I have had nobody to talk to because I have not told my family because I don't want them to treat or think bad of my husband. Please give advice. Thanks.

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jovon79

Asked by jovon79 at 8:06 PM on Nov. 16, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • Wow. You can only get over this if you want to stay with him you have to forgive him. But he has to help you heal from this. No secrets, being very open and honest and attentive to you, there is no time table but if he does this slowly you will get over it .
    Best wishes
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:11 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • Treat or feel bad about your husband?? Are you serious?? Just the fact he treated you horrible by having an affair and didn't feel bad is enough. Your family would have every right to think of him as scum.
    You obviously need couseling to help you get through this. You will never get over it, but you can get help for the mental and emtional torment you are going through. What he did to you was wrong regardless of the situation at the time. Seek counseling including marriage if you are planning to stick it out together.
    kscmbz

    Answer by kscmbz at 8:13 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • You need to allow yourself time to get over it..As long as your SO was cheating, you need to take the same amount time to heal...I do not know what your religious convictions are, but if you are rooted in a church and with the Savior, that might allow your healing process to quicken...

    If you are not rooted in a Church setting, I would find a mommy group in the community..Find a mommy group with someone who has gone through the exact same thing you have..BUT find one that is NOT a man basher..Someone who is positive..

    Then I would take time for yourself...Do something to make yourself feel good..Exercise, join a bookclub, get a second job, take a weekend off, start going to church, get a hobby..Anything that helps make you feel better...

    I hope this helps...
    Masonyastesmom

    Answer by Masonyastesmom at 8:14 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • I know what you mean about not telling your family but it's not fair to you to have to hold it all in. I think that's part of why it's taking you so long to heal. You'll never forget what he's done but you can get past it and forgive but it's not easy. Good luck to you
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:29 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • It happend to me in 2002..and I am still not over it. I never will be. I can say that with time things will not hurt so badly, but really the pain will never leave. Sorry but for me this is my experience...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:44 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

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