Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

MY EX's new "girlfriend" of one month overdoing it with my 11yrd old daughter

What to do when childless -26yr old step mom to be? of my 11yr old girl is over doingthe converstions duringmy time with mychild? emails galore to my daughter all week. She is about 1month new to my kids life..

Answer Question
 
Charlene73

Asked by Charlene73 at 12:30 AM on Jul. 8, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • maybe u should tellur ex that while u want her to be nice to the kids, that she is overstepping her boundries. have him tell her to back off a bit. if that doesnt work then u tell her to back off, but i would try talking to ur ex about it first (and NICELY, lol).
    kissmiss213

    Answer by kissmiss213 at 2:20 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • It doesn't really sound like a threat to me. I would have a problem is she was bad mouthing you or abusing the kids verbally or physically. If she is having the same talks that you would and not trying to replace you, then maybe you should relax. Its hard enough trying to be someones stepmom. I think shes trying to bond without taking moms place. Do you get to read the emails that she sends?
    Queentdi

    Answer by Queentdi at 8:24 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • my only concern with so much contact is...what if its doenst work out and she doesnt become the step mom..your daughter is going to be broken hearted...and to only be a month into their relationship is a bit soon to be saying she is going to be her step mom...
    like PP said as long as she isnt bad mouthing you or trying to otherwise hurt your relationship with your daughter ....
    afeather

    Answer by afeather at 8:41 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • Not only that, but what could possibly be so important for a 26-year old 'woman' need to constantly talk to your 11-year old daughter about? I'd keep close tabs on exactly what they're communicating about. I wouldn't be too worried -- the novelty of this new friendship is bound to wear off soon enough.
    FishBiscuit

    Answer by FishBiscuit at 4:22 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • Sounds to me like the gf is trying a little too hard. Dont fault her for it but, acknowledge her efforts. Id talk to her directly (or by email) and tell her you are grateful for the attention she is showing your daughter and you appreciate how hard she is trying to get daughter to like her but, you think it may be just a little over the top. Explain to her that like most 11 year olds, your daughter will soon tire of the constant 'mom' attention anad pull away from her and you would hate to see this new relationship damaged before it really got started. Your daughter will tire of all the attention and want to just be a normal kid with a mom and a stepmom. Stepmom isn't going to understand what went wrong and will try harder...I think you're right to get involved before it goes too far.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:10 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • Sounds like the gf is trying to score points with the new bf by buddying up to your daughter. Good thing is that at age 11 girls know what's up. If you have a good relationship with your daughter you won't have to worry about competition. Your daughter may end up being annoyed by the gf taking too much attention away from her with her father and it might end up backfiring. I am a stepmother of 13 and 19 y/o girls for the last 7 years. Believe me, it isn't easy, but the gf will never replace you as her mother no matter how hard she tries. It will be fun for your daughter at first, but will get old quick. Hang in there.
    goinginsane1

    Answer by goinginsane1 at 2:32 AM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • I'm going thru this with my ex husband new fiance' of just a few months I have two boys 11 & soon to be 9. She even have their pics posted on her space web site, which my ex husband brought me back to court for when my nephew wanted to set a my space acct for them, I told my nephew no of course, my boys even asked me what they needed to call their new step mom I told him Ms. ------ that I was their mom and will always be their mom no matter what, but I think will change once the newness wears off, beside I figure once they are married he would do the same with her like me leave her home along with the kids while he does his own thing then my kids will realize she is not as nice as she seems.
    lab527

    Answer by lab527 at 10:51 PM on Jul. 22, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN