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Preteen drama

So, I have twin girls that are 11 1/2 going on 12. They have a friend who is 12. Well, the friend has been telling them things, like about sex and stuff, and then had the ordasity (sp.) to call one of them gay. I have talked to my girls about things previously about sex, so I hope what I say sticks! Anyway, my daughter was in tears when she called her gay, because she really didn't know what it was. I explained to her that sometimes men are attracted to men and women are attracted to women., and I left it at that! I also told her that she is fine and way to young to think about this stuff. My question is... did I handle it okay? Should I confront the friend on this or let it go? Oh, BTW, I am not against gay/lesbians at all and am trying to teach my girls that they should love people for the person they are inside, not their religious beliefs, color, or sexual preference.

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:43 AM on Feb. 7, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (5)
  • I think you did right, also you should talk to this little girls parents, I would be upset if my daughter were telling girls things like this.

    Answer by gabby06 at 1:47 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • I'm so sorry your daughter is being put through this (it's reminiscent of when I was in middle and high school... I got called a Lesbian and it stuck with me till I graduated...

    But that's a side issue, just you know you could tell your daughter that people are always going to pick on you and say things that aren't true... It's hard to shrug off but usually it is the best way .. all a bully wants is attention, you don't give them attention and they shrivel up to nothing.

    As for the sex thing... I would definately recommend you speaking with the other child's parents.... and tell them how upset your daughter was.

    Answer by Randomosity2 at 1:55 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • You did good! I would also put in there that your always there to listen and she can talk to you about anything, that way she doesnt confuse you not going further into the subject as you not wanting to talk. If it was me, i wouldnt talk to the girls parents just yet. Explain to your daughters that they are getting older and so are their friends and peers. And growing up you are going to find people who hurt your feelings, its sad but its a part of life sometimes.Try to explain people can be mean to each other to try and bring another person down and feel bad about themselves and just to let it roll off their backs. If the girl continues this harrassment and nasty behavior than id say talk to the mother. But sometimes kids have to fight their own fights. good luck!!!

    Answer by Bobbysgurl at 1:54 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Why would the other girl call your daughter gay? And since you know this little girl is talking sex to your daughters, I would suggest to them to how to pick and choose thier friends because this little girl does not sound like a child I would want my daughters around. Maybe after what the other girl said, your daughters will learn that this little girl is not a good friend...

    Answer by treasured_hope at 1:17 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Kids know at a younger age that life is unfair and they are going to learn all kinds of terms with the wrong meaning at school. Be honest, set them down, talk it out, and let them ask questions. Better you tell them the truth than them believe what they hear from another child. Unless it persisted, wouldn't say anything to friend or parents, just talk to your kids and the beliefs you plan on instilling in them. Best of luck

    Answer by ConnectHearts at 10:10 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

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